I'm Alyssa.
I'm 19.
And I thought I already had the shittest day of my life.
You look like a princess.
But this is actually worse.
I got community service for what I did,
which wasn't as bad as going back to school.
It's not easy, what comes after something like that.
It's like you become a shit celebrity.
You become someone else.
Even to yourself.
But you can't go back to who you were before.
I think my mum found what happened to me even worse than I did.
Please, Tony. Please don't leave me!
I've kicked Tony out.
She hadn't.
Mum went genuinely a bit mad after that.
She started talking about herself in the third person.
I think Gwen needs a nap.
Okay.
It was too much, us staying there.
In that house, that town.
So we took the twins and left.
It meant missing the end of school, but mum said that was okay.
You can finish it later.
Or get a job.
Or marry someone rich.
Sorry.
We went to live with my aunt, Leigh,
Mum's half-sister.
She runs a cafe, and she doesn't trust deodorant
because of breast cancer.
I like her.
She said we could stay at her place for as long as we wanted.
We've been here over a year now.
I don't think she meant that long.
It's good that Mum has someone else to talk to.
Good for me.
It makes it easier for me to be okay.
And actually, I am okay.
I don't really feel anything any more.
It's good, not feeling.
It's like a superpower.
Leigh gave me a job.
Mainly, so that I had something to do, I think.
This is what you might call irony.
See if Marvin can make a banana split for me, you fucking cu...
What can I get you?
Is that your real name?
You know it is.
Billy is Leigh's foster son.
It's shit.
He's a sweet kid.
Okay.
Work's boring.
But I did meet Todd there.
Hiya.
He teaches canoeing to kids,
and he has quite strong opinions.
You know Finland?
It doesn't actually exist.
It's a fabricated land mass made up by the Russians in the Cold War.
Right.
Is this a date?
Yeah.
Cool.
He's kind of like a dog.
In a good way.
He's also a really good kisser.
My aunt's got a cabin by the lake.
Cool.
Sex is actually all right, it turns out.
It's not such a big deal.
I told him about everything.
Shit.
Yeah.
Do you like chicken fajitas?
He gets it.
Do you wanna get married?
Yeah, fuck it, why not?
Exactly, fuck it.
Mum's pretty excited about the wedding.
She's really thrown herself into the whole thing.
- Why are we doing this again? - What, love?
The wedding is tomorrow, it fits.
It fit fine before.
Now...
it's perfect.
Getting married young is one of the most renegade things
you can do these days.
Mum's using Tony's divorce money to pay for it,
which is also pretty maverick.
And I'm happy.
For the first time in ages, I'm really happy.
♪ Chills and fever ♪
♪ Ooh, chills and fever ♪
♪ Chills and fever Is what you give to me ♪
♪ When you hold my hand ♪
♪ And tell me that I'm your loving man ♪
♪ Kiss me... ♪
Getting a bullet in the post should be threatening.
But it's hard to feel frightened of someone
who can't spell your name right.
And clearly doesn't know where you live.
♪ Ooh, chills and fever ♪
♪ Chills and fever Is what you give to me ♪
♪ When it's late at night ♪
♪ And when, when you hold me tight ♪
♪ Tell me that you love me so ♪
♪ That you'll never, ever Ever let me go ♪
♪ Ooh, chills and fever... ♪
Excuse me.
You thought about killing yourself?
- What? - I said, "Is there service included?"
Oh, no. Don't worry about it.
- Keep the change. - Thanks.
Do you know whose car that is?
No. Why?
Dunno.
Nothing.
I used to be really good at knowing
when someone was watching me.
But now I'm not sure.
I'm probably just being paranoid.
- I'll be in the office. - Okay.
Oi!
What the fuck?
Who are you?
Oh, my God.
♪ Why does the sun keep on shining? ♪
♪ Why does the sea... ♪
It was a fitting end.
A doomed love story.
A perfect tragedy.
And then I didn't die.
I was under 24-hour police surveillance
as I waited for a court date.
Are you gonna eat that?
No.
Do you, uh... Do you mind?
No.
Where's Alyssa?
Alyssa and I weren't allowed to see each other.
Not at all.
But I thought about her all the time.
Hello, James.
I've got some results to discuss with you.
Would you like your dad?
My dad's response to me being shot was to eat or cry.
Quite often at the same time.
Sorry, James.
No, that's all right.
Fine.
Well...
as you know, James, the information...
The bullet had done quite a lot of damage.
She talked about my injuries,
about complications.
And things taking time.
And long roads ahead.
But in many ways,
James, you have been extremely lucky.
I didn't feel lucky.
Okay.
I felt like I was being punished.
And maybe I deserved it.
James?
I'd never met Alyssa's mum before.
At first, she seemed quite nice.
How are you?
I'm okay.
- Would you like a yogurt? - No. Thank you.
- How's Alyssa? - You need to break up with her.
- What? - The thing is, it's your fault, isn't it?
What happened. I'm sure you didn't mean it, but...
you've ruined her life.
You've ruined everything.
Sorry.
What can you offer her?
Like... this?
No offense.
It was quite hard not to take offense.
Are you going to be able to walk again?
I think so.
And they say you're going to prison. Is that right?
I dunno.
Probably.
If you loved her, you'd let her go.
It's like that song.
I didn't know the song she was talking about.
But I had a feeling she might be right.
I thought you could write her a letter.
I don't want to.
Well, she needs to move on, and you're no good for her.
I'm sorry.
But that's the truth.
The truth was something I'd been trying to ignore.
The harsher the better.
You know how stubborn she is.
I've got a stamp.
I had a feeling that Alyssa got the letter.
Because I never heard from her again.
♪ I'm sitting here ♪
♪ And she's sitting there ♪
♪ Making believe... ♪
On the upside, after a number of operations,
I was able to start learning to walk again.
And I didn't go to prison after all.
Get in!
The jury agreed I was acting in defence of another
and found me not guilty of murder.
The videotape definitely helped.
Stay still!
But I was given a suspended sentence
for various other misdemeanours.
I wanted to give my dad some money for his new car.
But he wouldn't let me.
It's funny, the way people lie to be kind.
I think this is actually nicer to drive.
After I nearly died,
Dad signed up for an online parenting course.
He started talking about his feelings.
I really value us spending time together.
Yeah.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
I think we should do more activities together.
Okay.
Bowling did seem slightly ambitious,
given that I'd only recently got the use of my legs back.
This is brilliant, innit?
Yeah!
I did it!
But in the end, it wasn't me I should have worried about.
♪ Ruler of my heart ♪
♪ Driver of my soul ♪
♪ Where can you be? ♪
♪ I wait patiently... ♪
I never went back inside our house.
I couldn't even walk up the drive.
There was too much sadness in there.
♪ Where can you be? ♪
♪ I wait patiently ♪
♪ When you're alone ♪
♪ The going gets rough ♪
♪ Come back, come back, come back ♪
♪ I've had enough ♪
♪ Make me a queen ♪
♪ Happy again... ♪
Thank you.
♪ Hear my cry ♪
In a strange way,
the bullet gave me a new lease of life.
A reason to see Alyssa again.
To check that she was okay.
To see her again.
♪ If your love ♪
♪ Was mine alone... ♪
Hello.
♪ If I had your heart ♪
♪ To call my own ♪
♪ This would make me happy ♪
♪ And I'll be, I'll be satisfied... ♪
It's strange.
When someone's very important, and you haven't seen them for a long time,
as soon as you do, it's easier to breathe.
♪ Was mine alone ♪
♪ If I had your heart ♪
♪ To call my own ♪
♪ This would make me happy ♪
♪ And I'll be, I'll be satisfied... ♪
I wanted to go and talk to her.
But then I realised that it was okay if I just watched her.
Watched out for her.
Because you have to be vigilant with people.
And I hadn't been.
Alyssa was my only person left.
♪ Like I'm loving you ♪
♪ And this would make me happy ♪
♪ And I'll never ♪
♪ No, I'll never let you go... ♪
Shit.
Oi!
♪ And if faith ♪
♪ If faith alone can move a mountain... ♪
Who are you?
Oh, my God.
Hey.
For fuck's sake.
♪ I do believe ♪
♪ I could win your love ♪
♪ And this would make me happy ♪
♪ And I know that you would be happy too ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ And this, this would make me happy ♪