I just remembered, I owe you money.
Well, thank you for sparing me
the awkward confrontation.
Are you starting to feel exploited?
Yeah, but in a good way.
Go ahead.
- Are you looking at my balance? - It's okay.
- Size isn't everything. - Funny.
So, does bad music make people deaf,
or do deaf people just have really bad taste in music?
Well, there is Beethoven.
Hey, come on, let's go.
What the fuck is that shit?
- Hey, hurry up... - I need my receipt...
- Come on, that's all right... - Eh, eh...
It's all yours.
Do you think you can do
that kind of offensive shit like that in public?
- Come on man, we're sorry-- - Oh, he's sorry.
Look, Pete, let's go.
- Hey, fuck you, man! - Fuck you--
Run! Run!
Help!
The other one got away.
Fuckin' pervert!
Read a fucking Bible, you pervert!
Come on. Come on, let's go. Come on.
Okay, here we go with Uncle Nate.
- You got him? Just... - Yeah, yeah...
put your hand under there... There you go, whoo, yes.
Okay, but don't hold him like he's a football.
It's more like you're carrying a watermelon.
See?
- Okay. - Adjust. There you go.
Hey, there, little guy.
Who looks just like his daddy? Huh?
They say when a baby's born
it always looks more like its father.
Which is nature's way of establishing paternity.
We're hoping he grows out of it.
Oh, don't worry, I'm sure he will. Yes, yes.
David, come meet Augusto.
I just have to, uh, get Mr. Perlmutter
dressed for his viewing.
Ay, David, please. Come take one look at him.
Nate was an extremely gassy baby,
always crying.
David, on the other hand, hardly ever made a peep.
Hey, when are you guys gonna grow up around here
and make this woman a grandmami?
Well, certainly not until after
Mr. Perlmutter's got some clothes on.
Ohh...
You know, it's kind of funny,
me coming back to school in a hearse.
It's hilarious.
This sucks.
Does everybody know?
I don't know, who'd you tell?
No, I mean, like,
did they make an announcement or something?
Don't you think you would've gotten a couple cards
or something, if they had?
No.
It's not cool to OD.
It freaks people out.
Who gives a fuck what these people think?
Everyone is too obsessed with
what everyone else thinks about them
to think about anyone else.
You're a freak.
Yeah, well, so are you.
Is that supposed to make me feel better?
That's the guy who OD'd?
What the fuck are you looking at?
Oh, so what, you called me over here
to show me a picture of you and the grave digger?
I need your key back,
because you've crossed a line,
and I don't feel like I can trust you anymore.
You think I took that picture?
I will not play this game with you!
I'm not gonna deal with you
when you're off your meds, Billy, because,
I don't even know who you are.
You know, for someone with so much animosity
towards the psychiatric profession,
you sure do love to push those pharmaceuticals.
Makes sense, as you're obviously no stranger
- to medication yourself. - You're sick, Billy,
you're sick. And you have to stay on your fucking medication
or you get scary, okay?
You're not scared of me.
I'd never hurt you.
You're the most important person in my life.
Yeah, well, did you ever stop to think
that maybe that's fucked up?
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry, just...
Just take the meds.
Okay, I promise.
Now give me the key.
I just-- I just told you I'd take the medication, Brenda.
I just... I just told you I'd take the medication!
Jesus Christ, you don't have to be such a bitch!
When did you turn into Mom?!
Okay, I don't give a shit,
you want your fucking key?
Great, here, take all the fucking keys.
I could always have an extra copy at home.
Yeah, I can always change the locks.
Do you know how easy it would be to break into this place?
I'd like you to go now.
Get your wetsuit, clothing, robes, take them.
I just told you I'd take the medication, Brenda!
I told you I would take the medication, please.
You have to take care of yourself now.
I can't do it, not anymore.
Please, Brenda, you're the only person I can talk to,
you're the only one that hears me, Brenda.
Billy, you have to get a life of your own, okay?
Please.
You probably read about it,
it was all over the news,
what happened to Marc.
Yes.
The coroners...
still has his... they still have him.
In situations like this,
when there's been, uh, violence,
the family may prefer a closed casket.
No.
Honey, I think he looks pretty bad.
I have to see him.
I brought some pictures,
so, uh, you'll know what he looks like.
Wasn't he such a beautiful boy?
Why does a thing like this happen?
Come on, now, we all know why this happened.
That is not a reason.
It's the only reason.
If he wasn't...
He'd be alive today.
You know, I was always so worried about AIDS.
I never even thought that just being out on the street...
What is wrong with people?
I could've told him this kind of thing happens.
I would've, too, if he'd ever just,
talked to us about it, ever come out,
and told us what he was.
Well, what do you expect, Marcus?
You can't even say it.
Hey, Dave.
I'll be right with you.
Jesus! Whoo boy.
Okay, Cinderella.
We're gonna have to work overtime
to get you ready for the ball.
Because men don't make passes at girls with big gashes.
Ha-ha, that was funny, right?
Daddy's Mr. Funnyman!
Let me just run Augusto upstairs
and I'll be right back down to do him.
I can handle this, Federico.
Why don't you take the rest of the day off?
That's a pretty tough job, Dave.
The skull's all shattered up there.
And you might have to completely rebuild
- the tissue on his cheek. - I can do it.
Hey, thanks, man.
I'm so damn tired I can barely see straight.
Get some rest.
You bet. Good luck!
Let's go, buddy! Let's go!
And I told him not to come around for a while.
That's it?
Oh, what else could I do, Nate?
You could talk to the police,
you could get a restraining order.
I don't need you to tell me how to handle this.
That is so arrogant and patronizing.
I just need you to listen to me.
Brenda, you can't just sit around
waiting for the next fucked up thing Billy does.
You need to do something now.
Do you think that was easy for me,
just cutting him off like that?
Do you even comprehend what it's like
to be responsible for someone your whole life?
Do you even get the concept
of loving somebody that much?
Yes, I get that concept.
He's sick.
He's not just sick, he's dangerous.
He built a bomb.
He broke into our hotel room and took pictures of us in bed.
What's he gonna do next time?
I took his key away from him.
Yeah, well, he didn't have a key in Vegas, didn't keep him out.
I'm sorry.
I know you don't trust your parents,
but I really think they're right on this.
He needs to be somewhere.
This is so not how I need you to be right now.
What are you doing?
I don't wanna discuss this with you anymore.
In fact, you know what?
Why don't we just take some time off?
What is this? Oh, you dump Billy so now you're gonna dump me?
Don't you fucking analyze me!
You might as well throw away your key,
because I changed the lock.
Where's Claire?
Well, she claims to be at a movie,
but what do I know?
Nobody everybody tells me what's really going on.
That boy, who got beat up on the street...
Was he doing something?
He was getting cash. Didn't you read the paper?
Yes, I just thought you might know more about it.
Do you like the hen?
Very much. What did you stuff it with?
Chestnuts, bread crumbs, celery.
Do you want to know all the ingredients?
No, thanks.
Are you going out tonight?
No, not tonight.
Are you?
Me? No.
But, you know,
sometimes I do see Hiram on occasion.
And I know you don't like that,
but I also know you love me no matter
who I see in my private life.
Well, that's good, Mom.
So, why did you drop Jazz Vocals sophomore year?
Because the music teacher was a crackhead.
I'm serious, Claire.
So am I.
He got busted and fired
and then Jazz Vocals was discontinued.
Do your homework.
What happened with the literary magazine?
Censorship.
I wrote this totally, like, harmless like,
cartoon story about this girl
who can make people's heads explode,
and apparently it was too disturbing to publish.
The debate team?
They debated what the prom theme should be.
I mean, God, the people in this school.
They have the mentality of teenagers.
You are a teenager.
Yes, but I actually think about things
beside trying to figure out
how to puke after lunch without anyone noticing.
So, what do you do for fun?
I don't know. What do you do for fun?
I go bowling with my friends.
I take hikes with my girlfriend.
I bake.
- You bake? - Mm-hm.
Your turn.
I read.
I go online and make up freaky cyber identities.
You know, sometimes I'm a Scientologist,
sometimes I'm a young, Christian wife.
What about friendships that are, uh,
based on the truth, any of those?
Uh, sometimes I hang out with Parker McKenna,
I kinda like her, even though
she's pretty much a split-personality freak.
Dating anyone?
Dating?
You mean like getting drunk and screwing?
If that's what it is.
Yeah, that's what it is. No, I'm not.
Keith, got a minute?
Sure.
What's up?
I wanna put you on security
for the Marc Foster funeral on Thursday.
Okay, why?
'Cause all the wackos turn out for these things.
Why me?
Come on, Keith.
Because you're a good, smart cop
and you use your head before you use your gun, alright?
So, it has nothing to do
with the fact that I'm gay, right?
What do you wanna do, man, sue me for discrimination,
or show up and protect this kid's family?
Oh, God,
I look like something Chef Boyardee makes.
So, you never told your parents you were gay either?
Oh, please, they knew.
I just didn't want my dad making me feel guilty
about it all the time.
Maybe he could have accepted it
if you'd given him a chance.
You heard him.
He thinks it's my fault I'm dead.
That's not what he was saying.
He was saying it's a sick world.
I'm the one who was sick.
Shut up.
So, I liked men.
I never should have given into it.
It's not what God intended.
I could have had a family, I could have had a normal life.
- You could've, too. - That life would've been a lie,
and completely unfair to your wife and children,
who would've hated you.
Not if I never looked back.
Not if I had faith.
God challenges us like this,
so we'll chose good, so we'll triumph over evil.
Only thing is, so few of us do.
It's not a choice.
God already made the choice for you.
That's just liberal propaganda
to justify your own depravity.
Jim.
No matter how nice you fix me up,
I'm still going to hell, and you know it.
'Cause you're going there, too.
Brenda, pick up the phone.
Don't just lay there and say, "Fuck you."
Okay, look, I'm sorry I pissed you off.
I know you're under a lot of pressure
but, uh, so am I.
So, let's talk about it, okay?
Call me.
Hey!
Uh, yes, this is Fisher & Sons.
Can I help you?
I'm terribly sorry.
Yes, we can pick up the body, uh, the deceased.
Which morgue?
Oh, residence, okay.
What's the address?
Robbie?
Oh, I'm sorry, did my tree hit you?
Do you have a moment?
Well, I don't know, Ruth.
I got a whole big bunch of ferns out back
I gotta cut up so you can make more of those
beautiful, one-of-a-kind arrangements.
How did you tell your parents you were...
Into flowers?
Well, it was obvious from the beginning.
My first word was "perennial."
How did you tell them you were...
gay?
What makes you think I am gay?
Just because I have a refined aesthetic,
you think you can make assumptions
about my personal life?
I'm so sorry. You're not gay?
Yes, I'm gay.
But I certainly don't see
how that's any of your business.
Do I ask you about your intimate sexual life,
even though it is on full display in the workplace?
No, I do not.
I tolerate the repercussions,
but I don't pry.
I'm sorry.
I'm asking because my son--
Oh, dear Lord. Save it for Geraldo.
Someone in the family shows signs of homosexuality
and suddenly it's a national crisis.
Coming out to my parents...
Honestly, why don't you tell me
the most horrible moment from your intimate past?
- It was horrible? - It's none of your business.
I'm sorry I offended you, Robbie.
That is a shitty place for the lily.
Mr. Jacoby?
Oh, fuck.
Jesus, Billy, you fucking psycho.
Ahhh!
Oh, did I get you?
Come on, man, it's paint.
Why aren't you laughing?
I don't think it's funny.
Oh no, it's just plain fun.
You know, if you mix up the letters in "funeral,"
you get "real fun."
How much do you love that?
You stay away from my sister. She's just a kid.
That's kind of ironic, don't you think?
You telling me that.
What'd they tell you?
They tell you I made a bomb?
They tell you who it was for?
I know you wrote things about your family.
Liar!
Don't fucking lie to me.
He thought he was such a genius.
Everybody thought, he was supposed--
He even had Brenda fooled,
which blows my mind.
Well, okay, she was young.
Are you talking about Dr. Feinberg?
No, Trevor, you fucking moron.
Trevor, perfect fucking Trevor.
He thought he was the King of Brenda,
which is such adolescent shit,
as if you could know somebody for, what,
a few months and just replace their whole life?
Their family?
Brenda's not allowed to love anyone
as much as she loves you?
Able...
She's not able.
You know what? You're right.
Bren never even told me about Trevor.
- She obviously doesn't trust me. - You don't get to call her that!
You call her Brenda.
You know, she broke up with me today.
Really?
Yeah, took away my key.
Well, it's probably for the best.
You and Brenda...
was never a good idea.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Listen, I gotta go, so, uh, you take care.
Hey.
You ready to go?
Yeah, just,
gimme a second to recover.
Still bad, huh?
It's just fucking tiring
trying to act normal all day.
I know what you mean.
So, what's the stupidest thing anyone's said to you today?
Umm, oh,
Packy Walker told me that
he once had to get his stomach pumped
because he ate his dog's deworming pills.
He thought they were ludes.
Well, isn't it comforting to know
that being miserable's still better than being an idiot?
All right.
You wanna hear the most horrible moment
from my intimate past?
Uh, no, sister, I do not.
I was married to my husband for 30 years
and I never slept with another man
until I started having sex with my hairdresser.
And the first time my hairdresser friend and I
had... intercourse,
he asked me to pleasure myself so he would know,
you know, how I did that.
And...
I couldn't.
Because I had never pleasured myself in my life.
I was 52 years old.
And I had to learn how to...
Masturbate.
...from a hairdresser.
Oh, my...
Well, Ruth,
thank you for sharing that, but,
I'm still not gonna tell you about coming out to my parents.
Why not?
Because I never did, cupcake.
My daddy would've never spoken another word to me
and my mother would've just gone...
insane, right there, on the spot.
How do you know?
A child knows
what his parents need him to be.
My mother is one of those women
that never did anything but raise children.
So, if you came out wrong,
like the opposite of what she was trying to make you into,
then, you know, her whole life is a failure.
I'm not like that.
Did he ever actually threaten you?
Uh, telling the new boyfriend
you wanted the old boyfriend dead
while you're playing with a fucking knife,
yeah, that seems like a threat to me.
How come you never told me about Trevor?
It's such ancient history.
You said you'd never been serious about anyone.
I was 18.
Did you love him?
Yes.
So, what happened?
Billy got sick.
Trevor went to Yale without me.
Billy got rid of him because he was jealous.
Everyone was jealous of Trevor.
He was ridiculously gifted.
One of those people who everybody secretly hates
because he's good at everything
and always gets what he wants.
He didn't get you.
Oh, please, he could do better.
He did, actually.
The woman he married
won the National Book Award last year.
You know, you're ridiculously gifted, too.
You could be one of those people who has everything.
Look, I don't know, Bren. If you don't wanna deal with this,
I think I might have to wanna call your parents.
Well, you might have to wanna call my parents, but,
unfortunately, they happen to be in South Africa at the moment.
I have absolutely no idea how to contact them.
Would you stop fucking around?
I love you and I'm sure that whatever you feel about me,
you don't wanna see me dead.
Are you okay?
No.
Do you want me to take you to a doctor?
What, now you think I'm crazy, too?
No, no.
Goddammit, why are you shutting me out?
I just wanna be alone, okay?
I just... wanna go to sleep.
Well, goodnight.
Why didn't you tell me about your relationship
with Gabriel Dimas?
Uh, I guess I just wasn't in the mood
for a lecture on inappropriate friends.
What makes you think I would do that?
Well, some people don't think
he's the greatest influence.
And what do you think?
I think that I'm as much of an influence on him
as he is on me, so,
it's not like it only goes one way.
Right.
Relating to another person is a way
we relate to a part of ourselves.
It's like... He's like an extreme version of me, you know?
I can see that.
But, what he's going through,
it's so much more.
But I understand, you know?
Feeling like you've got this shadow over you
all the time.
What's your shadow?
Umm...
Death, I guess.
Death and silence.
Is that crazy?
What's the silence?
I don't know, it's like sadness, or...
Fear, maybe.
It's like, you know, everybody's so scared
that they're gonna say the wrong thing.
'Cause, like, you know, when you bury someone,
it's the most sensitive time in a person's life.
So, it's like my family, they're just so careful.
It's like they almost become invisible.
That was heavy.
What's going on?
Nothing, I'm just being a freak.
You don't have to be afraid that you'll say the wrong thing.
That's just it, I'm not.
I-- I mean, I do say the wrong thing.
But, it's like, this is gonna sound stupid,
but like I talk so much shit all the time, you know,
and that's just another way to not say...
Whatever.
To not say what?
I'm not here for the school,
or for your mom.
I'm just here for you.
This is confidential, right?
Gabe didn't OD by accident.
He did it on purpose, I think.
Well, most OD's aren't really just accidents.
Right, so, what can I do as the friend of a person
who would do something like that?
Like, I know all the "I can't save him" stuff,
and I went to the websites,
and it's all like, "What you can't do."
So, what can I do?
Try not to make yourself invisible.
This isn't about me.
That's not a very good start, is it?
At least my tie can be straight, right?
You should have left me the way I was,
let the world see me for who I really am.
An abomination of nature.
Shut up.
Who you are is nothing to be ashamed of.
That's a little hard to buy,
coming from somebody who cruises for dick on the internet
and has unsafe sex with prostitutes.
You know, they made a shrine at the place where you died,
with pictures of you and... and flowers.
People go there and hold candles in your honor.
What people?
Your friends, your community.
Bleeding heart faggots with nothing better to do.
Guys who fucked me when they were drunk
and then never called me back.
There are people who love you.
But not as many as hate me.
And you.
Nice job.
Man, that is the best work you've ever done, David.
Thanks.
Nice, very nice.
Hey, there's like 200 homos outside.
Already? It's only a quarter of.
You'd think the family wouldn't want all of that
coming in here, you know?
All of what?
There's this one guy,
he's dressed like Jackie Kennedy.
You think this guy's mother really needs to see that today?
How'd you get those abrasions on his cheek
so smooth looking?
I used diaper rash cream. You left some.
Wow.
You know, Rico, I'm a homo.
I may not dress like Jackie Kennedy
but I have sex with men.
Don't... don't talk to me about that...
alright?
Why should I have to hide it from you?
You change your baby's diaper in my house,
you show me a videotape of your wife giving birth.
Where I come from...
if men need to... do that sometimes...
they don't talk about it.
They don't leave their wife and kids. They're still men.
I am a man!
So I took the height of tree A
and divided it by the length of shadow B.
So, do you see how I got to tangent C?
Since when are you such a trig bitch?
Don't get me wrong, I know it's totally pointless.
Just somehow, teaching you
makes it seem more interesting.
It must be the power.
Well, you,
are a very
stimulating teacher.
I love your...
grasp of the material.
Umm, maybe we should grasp the next one.
Which one?
Number five.
Come here.
- What is it? - Uh, nothing.
Allergies.
Hey, come on.
I'm scared.
It's okay.
I'm scared, too.
I'm scared you're gonna disappear.
I'm not gonna disappear.
What are you scared of?
I'm...
I'm scared I'm not gonna finish my math homework.
Hey, I told you.
I'm scared that you
are too good for me.
Oh, you're crazy.
I finally find a woman I wanna commit to,
and she makes it totally impossible.
You think that's a coincidence?
What is that supposed to mean?
Maybe if she made it easier, you wouldn't be so eager.
I need more garlic.
You've always been bored with the girls you could have,
and fascinated with the ones you couldn't.
Yeah, well, whose fault is that?
Your brother's gay, isn't he?
I think that's a question for him.
Has he told you?
No, he has not told me.
But it's obvious, everyone knows.
Am I supposed to say something to him?
I tried, I tried to discuss it. He wouldn't let me.
I guess he doesn't wanna talk about it, Mom.
But it's not good for a person to skulk around like that.
He's very tense. It's not good for him.
Breathe, Mom.
I know how to breathe!
And I don't appreciate you blaming me
for all your problems, thank you very much.
Your carrots are burning.
Haven't you seen a little girl called Bunny?
About your age?
A new girl.
With a dress, just like yours...
Look, there's no point in questioning the children.
What are you doing here?
I know what to do.
I know how to fix it.
Yeah? Fix what?
Oh, it was a big mistake.
But I'm gonna fix it, okay?
Oh, my God, Billy, what have you...
- Did you hurt him? - No, no, no, I fixed it.
Oh, God.
See, I can't be him anymore. He's somebody else now.
I did it for you.
And now we can bury him, and the best part
is now the nurse won't ever be able to find him.
You've lost a lot of blood.
Let me get a towel.
We just have to get yours now.
This way, you'll be safe from her, too,
for like the first time ever, and then we can bury them,
and you and I can be new people.
And we can forget about everything bad that they wrote.
I don't want us to be new people.
I like us the way we are.
Well, I already did it, Brenda, so, you have to do it, too.
Okay.
Give me the knife.
I wanna do it.
No, you did yours, I should do mine.
Nathaniel saved Isabel once, on the sailboat...
- It's a book, it's fiction. - And he gave her mouth-to-mouth
and saved her for the first time
because she had always saved him--
Nathaniel and Isabel are not real.
I need to do it.
Billy, get off me!
I'm warning you, this is gonna hurt.
Yes, hello, I need an ambulance.
It's in the Bible! - Your son's burning in hell!
- God hates fags! - God hates morons!
The wages of sin is death!
- And AIDS! - Amen! That's right!
You leave these people alone or so help me...
- It's my right to be here. - Yeah, this is America.
It's my right to tell the truth.
God killed Marc Foster and I'm here to celebrate.
- David!
God just shoved your stomach into your lungs
- and I'm here to celebrate! - Hey, hey, hey!
Look, God just got you in the face!
What's wrong with you?
He started it.
You alright, sir?
That man oughta be arrested.
We'll take care of it, just watch yourself.
I demand that that man be arrested!
This is a funeral. Show some respect.
What happened? Did something happen?
No, nothing happened.
I'm sorry.
Don't apologize to me.
Damn... You messed that guy up.
No, I'm sorry for how I've been.
I'm just...
I'm sorry.
You know, I have to work not to be worrying
about you all the time.
You could get yourself killed if--
If what?
If that's what you want.
- That's not what I want. - Are you sure?
Yes.
I'm sorry for how I was, with you,
when we were together.
I don't know why it's so hard for me.
It's hard for all of us.
But you know that you're right, that you're a good man.
For me it's like I agree with them, you know?
Like it is my fault, and I should be able to fix it.
There's nothing to fix.
But it's not who I wanna be.
I wanna be like the guy at my church with the kid on his knee.
You can have a kid on your knee, David.
That guy probably hasn't slept with his wife in five years.
I feel like my father would hate me if he knew.
You told me he did know.
And he never said anything.
Did you?
My girl's named Claire, she likes it clean
She's got orange hair, smells like tangerines
She's got orange hair, smells like Benzedrine
Would you shut up?
My mother's gonna fry your balls for breakfast
if she catches you in here.
Nice.
So, is that pretty much what you eat in a funeral home?
Yeah, why?
- Oh, God. - You okay?
I had Billy committed.
Mom?
Are you okay?
I have a terrible headache.
Well, maybe we can talk later.
What? What?
I'm gay.
Why didn't you ever tell me?
I am telling you.
Before, before. Don't you trust me?
What do you mean? I'm telling you.
But I've tried to discuss it with you several times.
Look, I just wasn't comfortable, okay?
What does it matter now?
Why not?
When I was clearly trying to be open.
You know, Mom...
You may be trying to be open now,
and that's great, but...
That's not how you've been for all my life.
You and Dad,
no one talked about anything.
None of us are like that.
Except Nate, and that's just because
he has no other way to distinguish himself.
I've always loved you.
I know you love the part of me that's your son.
What part of you isn't my son?
You're all my son.
I don't think you know me very well.
Well, whose fault is that?
I'm sorry.
And, you know, when you've tried to bring it up before,
or now, even, it's like you've...
decided you should know who I am.
Like you're willing to see me the way you make
yourself look at something horrible.
Like a corpse, because it's your job, your duty.
It revolts you, but you make yourself bear it.
Well, you're wrong. You don't revolt me!
I don't choose which part of you I love,
like some kind of chicken!
It was just...
so much easier when you were little and...
you would tell me everything.
And when you were upset, I could always fix it.
I don't know how to take care of you anymore.
Just let me... just let me take care of myself.
But do you? I'm afraid that you don't.
I do. I will.
Well...
that's all that I wanted to say.
All right.
We're having veal.
Well, Mommy still loves you.
Does that make everything better?
Yeah, I didn't think it would.
What are you still doing here?
I could've come out to every mother in the world,
and I'd still be dead.
Oh, what, you're gonna interrupt him
and his matching love stud?
Both of them will be in hell with us, by the way.
But something tells me they're gonna have a lot more fun.
Stop, stop.
Make me.
Please, God, help me, take this pain away.
Please fill this loneliness with your love.
Help me, God, please help me.