D-did.. I'm sorry, did you just say it's Rachel?
Yes.
Um, you-you like Rachel?
Yes. I like Rachel.
Rachel?
Yeah, okay. But.. Look.. Um...uh..
Hey, y-you know.. You know who else I like?
You. And-and it doesn't get said enough.
I like you, Ross.
R-R-Ra-Rachel Rachel?
Yeah. It's not a big deal.
It's not a big deal?
Oh, I'm sorry, I just..
Um, I..
What about all the stuff you-you just said?
I mean, how about, uh, like you can't stop thinking about her.
Like, how you can't sleep.
Uh, uh, I-I'm an actor, you know.
As-as a group we tend to be overdramatic.
Rachel-who's-carrying-my-baby Rachel?
Look, no, I-I know it's bad and I know it's wrong, okay?
But-but it's not-it's not like anything's
ever gonna happen, you know.
These-these are just feelings.
They-they're gonna go away.
You know, I-I got to go.
Oh, come on, Ross. Hey, Ross, Ross...
- I don't-- - I just.. You know..
I-I just have one.. Rachel?
[Joey sighs]
[mouthing] Rachel?
[theme music]
♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke you're broke ♪
♪ Your love life's DOA ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day your week your month ♪
♪ Or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
♪ 'Cause you're there for me too-o-o ♪♪
Oh, oh!
- Okay, she's kicking. - Oh.
She's growing inside you.
- Whoa! Ooh. - Oh!
Wow, that was a big one.
I think that's the youngest girl ever to reject me.
- Oh, hey, you guys. - Oh, hey, there.
- Hi. - Hey, listen, let me ask you.
- Do you believe in soul mates? - Oh, yes, I do.
I do, I believe that there's one perfect person
out there for everyone.
And you know how you find him?
You stop looking for him.
That's why I've stopped looking for Russell Crowe.
He will find me.
[chuckles] And you?
No. I mean, I believe that, uh
certain people are more suited for each other
and I believe in falling in love
but soul mates, I don't think they exist.
- Okay, good. - Why?
Well, last night, I met Monica's.
[gasps]
- What? - Yeah.
I-I had a date with this guy
and I swear to God he is her other half.
Come on, don't be crazy.
You don't think there's somebody out there
better suited for Monica than me, do you?
Well, what's he like?
- Well, he's tall. - 'Uh-huh.'
- He has brown hair. - Of course, of course.
A tall guy with hair similar to mine.
Oh, unknowable universe!
He works with food.
Oh, sure. Older?
Obviously. And he's British.
- Oh, I was just gonna ask! - Yeah?
And he's-he's so centered and mature and confident.
Oh, it's so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Luckily the guy she settled for
can't hear what you're talking about.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Um, and maybe I'm wrong.
I.. But, you know what, I'm gonna go out
with him again and I'll find out more.
You believe that this guy is destined for somebody else
and you're still gonna date him?
Well, he may not be my soul mate
but a girl's gotta eat.
[knock on door]
- Hey. - Hey.
I just talked to Joey and I just..
I wanted to see how you were.
You know what, I still.. I can't believe it.
Joey and Rachel? I mean it..
It's like y-y-you and me going out, only weirder.
Alright, I-I know you're hurting and-and I wanna be supportive
but don't say that again.
Oh, my God, what if, what if they get married?
Then he'd be the step-father of my child.
Oh, honey I don't think that's something
you need to worry about.
First of all, he-he's never gonna tell her
how he feels about her.
And even if he did, you have no idea
how she would react.
Sure, 'cause women never like Joey.
You know, I think he's a virgin.
But Joey, he's not even thinking
about going after Rachel.
- He's not? - 'No.'
All he's thinking about is how you're taking this.
I mean, listen, it-it's completely freaking him out.
He's talking about moving to Vermont.
Why?
He says he wants to leave the country.
He thinks you hate him.
Hate him? I..
No, I don't hate him.
It's just, it's Rachel, you know?
Honey, I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you.
But I don't want you to lose Joey over it.
Right now he just needs to know that you're still his friend.
Okay. Okay, I'll talk to him.
Okay.
And do it soon.
He just asked me how he could convert his dollars
into Vermont money.
- Oh. - Oh!
- Hi. - Hi.
Um, Chandler, Monica, this is Don.
- Oh, hey. - Hello.
- Hello, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
[coughs] Soul mate.
So, what have you guys been doin'?
Well, we just had a terrible lunch at Adriatica.
What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place?
I know. What is this, 1985?
That's exactly what I said.
Phoebe, isn't that strange?
Not really.
What's wrong with sun-dried tomatoes?
On a barbecued chicken pizza?
No?
So, Don, wh-what other restaurants do you like?
Well, Octavio, 27 and 7.
Oh, there's-there's this great little place, Alessandro's.
Oh, my God, that's-that's my restaurant.
- I'm the chef there. - 'You're kidding me?'
- No. - Y-your food is fantastic.
Wow, I really want to talk to you about your menu.
I'm just gonna get us some coffees first.
Um, anyone want anything?
- Oh, I'd like a latte. - 'Okay.'
You know what, if you're gonna talk about me
I'm gonna go with you.
- What are you doin'? - Nothing.
I swear to God, I didn't know you guys would be here.
And the good news is, you don't even believe in soul mates, so..
I believe in tall, handsome strangers who hit on my wife.
They're just talking, and you know what
just 'cause I think they're soul mates
doesn't mean anything's gonna happen.
- Phoebe? - Huh?
- Good work. - Yeah?
Yeah, I mean, he's great. I love him.
Don't worry, we'll find you someone else.
[knock on door]
- Hey. - Hey.
Look, I understand if you came by to hit me.
I deserve it.
No, I-I don't wanna hit you.
Oh, what then? Kick me?
No.
Bite me?
No. No, I don't-I don't wanna do anything to you.
I just wanna tell you that I'm not mad at you, and..
...and that I certainly do not hate you.
I just, I just came here to say that.
Hey, wait, Ross, Ross.
You wanna, you wanna come in for a beer or something?
I don't know.
Yeah, sure.
You, uh, you got any beer?
All-all I got is this, uh, melon stuff
that Rachel left, I don't..
Okay.
Hey, look, Ross, you need to understand somethin', okay.
I, uh..
I am never gonna act..
...on this Rachel thing, okay?
I-I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize
my friendship with you.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Ugh!
Uh! Ugh!
Anyway, it, uh..
Look, it-it'll just..
...take me a while to get over her, that's all.
I'm not even sure how to do that.
I mean, I've never been in love before so..
What? You're..
You're in love with her?
Well, yeah.
I thought you knew that.
- Um, no. - Wow.
Hey, look, if-if it helps
I don't wanna feel this way.
Honest.
I just keep thinkin'..
Ah, I'll get over this, you know.
But...God, it just-it just keeps getting harder and I..
I don't.. I don't know what to do..
You know, I don't..
What do I do?
I think you-you need to tell her how you feel.
Okay, that's the green stuff talking.
No, I'm serious.
You...you need to find out where she is
because if she's not where you are
then you can start to move past this.
But what if, uh..
and I'm not saying she will be--
If-if she is where you are then, uh..
Then my feeling weird about it shouldn't stand in the way.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Look, if-if she's gonna end up with somebody else
the truth is, she couldn't find a better guy, so..
Hey, thanks.
So when do you think you're gonna talk to her?
Oh, my God, I have to tell her.
I haven't even thought about what I would say.
What should I say?
I'm understanding, but let's not get carried away.
You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[sighs]
What am I gonna say?
[groans]
- Oh! - Yeah, tell me about it.
So, I've been slowly phasing out the wine importing
and focusing more on the, um, cheese side of things.
Cheese, you say?
That's some pretty smelly work, huh, Don?
- Excuse me? - Cheese, it's...smelly.
You must smell a lot of the time, too.
Uh, not really.
But when it comes to cheese, I'm one of those people
who thinks the smellier, the better.
Me, too. Yeah, Chandler can't stand it.
He-he won't even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
And you're still married to him?
[laughing]
Ah-ha-ha.
- You know what I'd love to do? - Hmm?
I would like to go to France
and eat nothing but bread and cheese.
- Hmm. - No, not even bread.
- Just cheese. - Hmm.
No, I want the bread, yeah.
Ah! And pastries.
Mmm..
And pate.
Oh, I'm really not high.
It's just that I used to be fat.
Oh! Well, if ever you're in the Loire Valley, let me know.
I've got a great little villa you could stay at.
Is it made of cheese?
No. But God, a house made of cheese!
- Wouldn't that be incredible? - I'd move in tomorrow.
Oh, come on!
Are you listening to this?
I'm so sorry.
- What do I do? - I don't know.
They both want to live in a house of cheese.
I don't know how you fight that.
Okay, okay. I can do this.
I can tell her how I feel.
Just, uh, okay, stand up straight.
Take a couple deep breaths.
Look confident.
Oh! Geez!
Oh, Joey! What's up?
I, uh..
I just came by because
I-I wanna talk to you about somethin'.
Okay. What's up?
Here? In the hall?
What are we, animals?
Oh, well, hey, I'm late for a meeting
so could you just make it quick?
Yeah, okay, um, I just came by
to tell you that..
I..
...wanna have dinner with you tonight.
- That's all. - Sure. Sounds great.
Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you, okay?
Okay, great.
Okay. That's good. Yeah.
Okay, that gives you a couple of hours
to prepare what you're gonna say.
Good, yeah.
Oh! Don't you people ever knock?
I'd like to have Don and Phoebe over.
- Wouldn't that be nice? - Sure.
Why don't you set it up?
I'll just be over here, browsing through the personals.
Are you okay? You've been acting weird all afternoon.
Yeah, fine, fine.
Not perfect!
But good enough.
Geez, what is with you?
I'm sorry.
Did you say cheese?
Alright, what's goin' on?
Phoebe thinks that you and Don are soul mates.
And I don't believe in that kind of stuff
but then you two totally get along.
So look, I won't stand in your way
if you wanna run off with Don
and live in a house of cheese.
Chandler, y-you don't believe in soul mates?
No, but I'm sure tomatoes does.
I don't believe in soul mates, either.
- You don't? - No.
I don't think that you and I were destined
to end up together.
I think that we fell in love
and we work hard at our relationship.
Some days, we work really hard.
So, you..
You don't wanna live with Don in a cheese house?
No, I-I've had second thoughts about that.
Do you realize how hard that would be to clean?
- I love you. - I know.
You know what? I'm gonna take you out to dinner tonight.
I found this place that makes the greatest
mozzarella sticks and jalapeno poppers.
No? Really? They taste so good.
And I know Chandler was kidding
but it happens every time he touches my stomach.
I mean, I'm really worried
the baby's not gonna like him.
- Are you okay? - Well, yeah, sure.
Uh..
...look, the, uh, the reason..
Is it hot in here?
No, not-not for me.
But why don't you take off your sweater?
I would, but this is a nice place
and my t-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbes.
Oh, my God!
Really? Can I see it?
Yeah, sure.
Huh!
Wow, I wouldn't think Hobbes would like that so much.
Uh..
How long have we known each other?
Um...seven
eight...eight years.
- Wow. - Uh-huh.
- Long time. - Yeah.
But over the past few weeks..
- I-- - Okay!
[sighs] Sorry about the wait
but it is mega-jammed in here.
We have a couple specials tonight.
Actually, uh, could you, could you give us a second?
Sure. Sure.
Second's up.
Not...that kind of table.
So, you were saying?
I'm not quite sure.
Okay, well, you had asked me
how long we knew each other
and I said eight years.
And then the, um, waiter came over
and cut his tip in half.
And, um, now here we are.
Yeah. Here we are.
Uh..
I..
I think I'm falling in love with you.
What?
I'm falling in love with you.
Who you talkin' to?
Oh, you're kidding. Oh, it's a joke.
[laughing]
Oh, that's funny. It's funny.
I don't get it.
Oh.
Okay. Um..
Uh-uh, wow.
Are you, um..
How did, um..
When?
Does it really matter?
Wow, wow, wow.
Wow, it is hot in here.
Okay, look, look, Rach, I know this is a lot, okay?
You don't have to say anything.
You-you, uh..
You take as much time as you need.
- Okay, you gotta say somethin'. - I..
Joey, Joey..
...I love you so much.
- But I.. - But.
- Joey? - Yeah-yeah, right.
Hey, that's, um..
That's okay. That's fine.
That's, um..
...pretty much what I was expecting, you know.
So, uh..
...it's no big deal, alright?
- I think I'm gonna go. - No!
No, Joey, please don't.. Please don't leave like this.
[sobbing] Now, come on. You cannot do this to a pregnant woman.
Don't start doin' that.
You can't do that, Rach
[sobbing] 'cause then you're gonna make me do..
Oh, there we go!
Can I?
- Sure. - Hm.
Aw, Joey, honey, I don't want..
- I don't wanna lose-- - Hey, hey, hey.
You can't, okay?
Ever.
- I'm so sorry. - No, no, no, Rach.
Please, don't be sorry.
Okay? Don't be sorry.
[sniffles]
You know what? I was only kiddin'.
Yeah, that was a real good one.
- Is this your table? - Yeah.
God, you're gonna be here all night.
I know.
I haven't even read 'em the specials yet.
What's the matter with them?
[sighing] I don't know.
I think maybe one of them is dying.
Hmm, I kinda hope it's the girl.
The guy is really cute.