- Hey. - Hey.
So, uh, did everything go okay with the annulment?
Oh, yeah, no problems. It's all taken care of.
- Ross, thank you. - Ah.
[both chuckling]
Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
- Oh, yeah. Why not? - I'm gonna get my sweater.
Okay.
You want, you want to hear something weird?
Always.
I didn't get the annulment.
- What? - We're still married.
Don't tell Rachel. See you later.
- Hey, do you have any gum? - Oh, yeah.
Wait! Wait! Hi.
Listen, Ross, can I just talk to you for just a second?
Oh, but, Phoebe, we're gonna be late for the movie.
Oh, there's a cab! Taxi!
Oh, that's lucky, huh?
What timing. My God, huh? There you go. There you go.
We're-we're actually just gonna walk 'cause it's
right up there at the Angelika.
Oh, the Angelika! Go! Go!
You didn't get the annulment?
I know.
- Ross? - Well, I tried.
But when I got to my lawyer's office
all I could hear was "Three divorces!"
"Three divorces!"
Look, I just don't want my tombstone
to read "Ross Geller, three divorces."
Don't be worried about that.
Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say.
It can say, "Ross Geller, good at marriage."
You know? Mine's gonna say, "Phoebe Buffay, buried alive."
Look, all I know is, I, I can't
have another failed marriage.
So, okay, what, you're gonna be married to a girl
who doesn't even know about it.
Oh, woman! Sorry.
Well, okay, so I don't have it all worked out quite yet.
Just don't, don't say anything to Rachel, please.
Rachel is one of my closest friends.
Although, being the only one that knows about this
does make me feel special. Okay.
Okay, stop, stop, stop!
- Phoebe! - Hey, Rach!
What was that?
Sorry. Mix-up.
Hey, how was the movie?
I haven't seen it yet. Ross.
Then you better hurry. The Angelika! Go! Go!
[shouting] No!
[theme music]
♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke you're broke ♪
♪ Your love life's DOA ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day your week your month ♪
♪ Or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
♪ 'Cause you're there for me too-o-o ♪♪
[instrumental music]
You know, when we move in together
can I get a gumball machine?
Of course. Joey wouldn't let you have one?
No. When it comes to sweets, he's surprisingly strict.
Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him you're moving out?
No, no, I keep trying, you know
and I can get out "Joey, I have to"
but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with
"Go to the bathroom."
He may think I'm sick.
You know, I really have to tell Rachel, but I..
We just got to get it over with.
You know what, the next time we see them
we're just gonna tell 'em, okay? That's it.
Oh, is that how this is gonna work now?
You're just gonna order me around
all the time?
- Pretty much. - Alright.
- Hey, Monica. - 'Hi.'
Hey, man, you feeling better?
Yeah, I'm , I'm, uh..
Um, Joey.
We have something to tell you.
Oh, my God!
You're pregnant!
- No. No. - No.
[chuckles] No.
Look, Joe, here's the thing.
Um..
...Monica and I have decided to live together, here.
So..
...I'm gonna be moving out, man.
Wow.
Well, uh, hey.
I'm really happy for you guys. Congratulations.
- See you later. - Hey, Joey, Joey.
- Are you okay? - Yeah. I gotta go.
I've got an acting job.
Like you'd believe that.
This sucks!
Look, I'm-I'm just gonna be right across the hall
and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up
I'm moving right back in with you.
Okay, look, look, look, uh..
...if you're gonna be moving in with him
I feel that it is my responsibility
to tell you the truth about him, okay?
He's a terrible roommate. Terrible!
He, uh, forgets to, um..
...he, uh, oh, always, he always, uh..
Oh, who am I kiddin'? He's the best roommate ever!
[upbeat music]
- Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
Hey, have you seen Rachel?
- No. Why? - I have some exciting news.
[gasps] You're pregnant.
No!
Chandler and I are moving in together.
Ooh, that's good. Wow.
But now, if you were pregnant what would you name it?
Hint, Phoebe.
- Hey. - Hey.
- What's up? - Well, um..
Chandler and I are moving in together.
Oh, my God.
Oh-h-h, my little sister and my best friend
shackin' up.
Well, that's great. That's great. Come here. Muah!
- You guys, I'm happy too. - Okay, come here.
Wow, big day, huh?
People moving in, people getting annulled.
Anyway, I gotta go find Rachel, but, um, if you guys see her
would you please try to give her some really bad news
so mine doesn't seem so bad.
- Okay. - Okay. Bye.
Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel.
Bad news for Rachel. What could that be?
Can you just, can you just lay off, please?
Alright. My life is an embarrassment.
I should just go live under somebody's stairs.
Ross, it's not that big a deal.
So, you'll have been divorced three times.
You'll still have a life. You'll go on dates.
No. No. No, I won't.
I'll be at the bottom of the dating barrel now.
Alright, the only guys below me will be four-divorce guy
uh...murderer guy and-and geologists.
[chuckles]
Ross, you're being ridiculous, okay?
You are cute and smart and sweet
and that is much more important than three stupid divorces.
Oh, yeah, have you ever dated anyone
who's been divorced three times?
Well, that's not really fair, you know.
Most guys who've been divorced three times
are like 60.
Ross, nobody cares about this except you.
You, uh, this embarrassment thing is all in your head.
Here, I'll show you.
- Come here. - What?
Hi! Hi. Listen.
My friend Ross is about to be divorced
for the third time, but wouldn't you date him?
And if you wait right here
I'll go get Ross.
[door opens]
- Hi. - Oh!
I thought you were Rachel.
What gave me away?
I just got to tell her. I have to get it over with.
I've told Ross and Phoebe and she's the only one left.
Okay, that's it, so everybody knows.
It's official, we're moving in together.
No turning back.
[growling] Are you scared? Are you?
- No. - That was my scariest voice.
You're very brave.
- Hey. - Hey.
Ugh! The worst day.
You know, you think you're finally making progress at work
and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Uh, hey, listen, for the first four years of my work
everybody called me Cha-la-la.
- Seriously. - I believe you.
So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting.
So, of course, no one else wants to correct her.
So everyone else is calling me Raquel.
By the end of the day the mailroom guys
were calling me Rocky.
Well, I-I still think you're very, very nice
and very pretty.
What?
All yours, babe.
Rachel..
Have a seat.
Okay, listen, um..
...Chandler and I..
...are going to live together.
Here.
Oh, my God.
That's so great!
Oh! I'm so happy for you guys!
- Really? - Oh!
And that was so sweet of you to ask.
[gasps] Oh, my God!
The three of us are gonna have such
a good time living together!
[gasps]
Yes, we are.
Oh, and, Chandler, you're gonna have to watch
those long showers you take in the morning
'cause you know Raquel can't be late.
- Rach. - Yeah, he's gonna work on that.
Oh. Oh! This is so exciting.
Oh, wow.
[gasps]
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
♪ We'll be waiting for you ♪
[instrumental music]
See? Once you know the stories, it's not that bad.
First marriage, wife's hidden sexuality
not my fault.
Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar
a little my fault.
Third marriage, well, they really shouldn't
allow you to get married when you're that drunk
and have writing all over your face, Nevada's fault.
Okay, so what do you think, ladies?
Who wouldn't be interested?
Who wouldn't want to date him?
Well, the divorces don't bother me.
I'd date him, but not while he's still married.
Okay, what about you? Wouldn't you want a date?
Actually, I'm not dating at all anymore.
See, I figured out that I was only dating guys
that were, you know, like, bad for me.
So, I decided that until I could work that out--
Good, good, whatever.
'What about you, Meg?'
Well, I don't care
about the divorces either
but I wouldn't date him.
It's just that he's obviously
still in love with this Rachel girl.
What?
She said, "He's obviously still in love with.."
[indistinct whispering]
This is crazy. I mean, yes, yes.
Rachel is my good friend
and I, I have loved her in the past
but now she is just my wife.
Phoebe, will you, will you help me out here?
Well, I thought you loved her when you, when you married her.
We were drunk.
I would have married, uh, Joey
with that amount of alcohol.
Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani.
Look, I'm sorry, but you guys are wrong.
I just don't wanna be divorced three times.
Yes, and now he's using this three-divorces reason
because he wants to stay married to her
because he loves her.
I must say, well done. Bravo, Meg.
Okay, fine, fine.
If this what you think, forget about
the whole three-divorce thing, okay?
I-I'll go to my lawyer's office right now
and get this marriage annulled, okay?
She means nothing to me. Noth..
Nothing!
Okay, now I wouldn't date you
because you seem a little creepy.
I am so attracted to him right now.
[instrumental music]
Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel
what actually is going to happen?
Soon. I just couldn't before.
I mean, you saw how upset Joey got.
I couldn't do that to her, she's my best friend.
Well, Joey's my best friend.
I'm not your best friend?
You just said..
You know, uh..
Of course, you're my best friend.
Would you please tell Rachel, though?
Alright. Alright, at least I'm prepared.
Okay.
- Oh, yes. - Hey!
Hey, hey.
These aren't for you. Are you upset?
I am now.
Hey, roomie.
Okay, bye.
Rach?
There's something, uh... important I have to tell you.
[gasps] Are you pregnant?
[sighs] No, but I'm throwing this shirt away.
I think there was a little, uh, misunderstanding before.
Um, when I said that, uh, that Chandler and I wanted
to, uh, live together..
...we meant alone together.
[laughing] Oh! Oh, my God.
Oh, that's funny. I can't believe I did that.
Oh, no, sweetie. No, you know what?
This is my fault. I, I wasn't clear.
I, uh, I'm really sorry.
And-and listen..
...you take as much time as you need to move out, okay?
There's absolutely no rush.
Okay.
Don't you want a cookie?
Sure.
Thanks.
Maybe do you need a tissue?
Mm-hmm.
Monica, where did you get these?
- I made them. - Oh!
God, they're so yummy.
[sighs] God, it's gonna be weird
like when I come home and you're not here, you know?
No more Joey and Chan's.
No more J and C's.
Wanna go over to Joey and Chandler's?
Can't. It's not there.
Look, I'm just gonna be across the hall.
We can still do all the same stuff.
Yeah, but we won't be able to like
get up in the middle of the night and have those
long talks about our feelings and the future.
Not once did we do that.
- Hi. - Hey!
So, I...I told Rachel that it's just gonna be the two of us.
Oh, yeah? Well, how'd she take it?
Really well, yeah.
Surprisingly well.
Yeah. She-she didn't cry. She wasn't angry or sad.
And you're upset because you didn't
make your best friend cry?
I mean, all I'm asking for is just a little emotion.
Is that too much to ask after six years?
And what? Are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?
I mean, do we not have as much fun?
Don't I deserve a few tears?
And when we told Joey, he cried his eyes out.
Hey!
I did not cry my eyes out!
I mean, come on. It's like the end of an era.
No more J-man and Channy's.
Okay, I got to ask. Who calls us that?
[instrumental music]
You got married again?
Yes.
So, that's your second marriage in two years.
Yes. Second in two years.
Third...overall.
Ross, I have been a divorce attorney
for 23 years and never have I had
so much business from one client.
Why don't you tell me what happened?
Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk--
I'm sorry.
Is this the same Rachel whose name
you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Yes, yes, yes!
[chuckles] But I-I do not love her.
Oh.
That's better then.
This was just a drunken mistake
and I-I need to get it annulled.
I see. Have you considered therapy?
I think just the annulment for today.
There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Easy.
And we'll need to have witnesses
who can testify that you were not of sound mind.
[chuckles] No problem.
And we'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Ooh.
There's no way to do this without her?
'Cause I kind of already told her
uh, it was, it was taken care of.
Of course, you did.
Look, Ross, you can't get an annulment
unless you and Rachel are both there.
Uh-huh.
What about someone who looks like Rachel?
I will think about the therapy.
[instrumental music]
- Hey. - Hey.
So, um...I was thinking that maybe we should start
dividing up our stuff.
Okay.
You know, no-no point in dragging it out.
Dragging out the long process of you moving out
and us not living together anymore.
Okay.
Hey, Rach.
- Yeah? - What about this?
Huh, who-who gets this?
See, I-I don't know if I want it because, you know
it might be too many memories.
- What the hell is that? - I don't know.
Hey, Rachel, how about the big plate?
I want you to have the big plate.
Wow. Monica, thanks.
I love this plate.
Something to remember me by.
Mon, honey, you're not dying.
I'm just moving out.
You know, I mean, we're gonna see each other all the time.
But still... it's a big change.
The end of an era, you might say.
Are you okay? You're not blinking.
I'm fine. I just..
I was thinking about how it's-it's an end of an era.
Oh, alright.
But you know, I gotta say, I don't, I don't think
six years counts as an era.
And era is defined as a significant period of time.
Now, it was significant for me.
Maybe it wasn't significant to you!
What is the matter with you?
Why aren't you more upset?
Aren't you gonna be sad that we're, that we're
not living together anymore?
I mean, aren't you gonna miss me atall?
Monica, alright. But don't get mad at me..
It's, it's just a little hard to believe.
What's hard to believe?
Well, you know, I mean, it's you guys.
You-you do this kind of stuff, you know?
I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas
and then you backed out..
I guess I'm not upset because I don't see you
actually going through with it. I'm sorry.
Rachel.
It's going to happen.
Chandler is gonna move in here.
- But I-- - I know, well, uh..
Just let me finish, okay?
This isn't something that we just, just
impulsively decided to do in-in Vegas.
This is something that we both really want.
And it is going to happen.
It is?
Really?
Yeah, sweetie.
You mean, we're..
...we're not going to live together anymore?
No.
What?
Oh, my God!
I'm gonna miss you so much!
I'm gonna miss you!
I mean, it's the end of an era!
I know!
[instrumental music]
- Okay, bye. - Oh, no.
So, did you get the annulment?
- I couldn't. - I knew it.
Because you love Rachel.
It's not that, okay?
Annulments are more complicated than I--
Yeah, complicated 'cause of the love.
I, I do, I do not love Rachel.
I'm gonna tell her right now about the whole thing
so we can get this marriage annulled
as fast as possible, okay?
Would I do that if-if I loved her?
I've never been more convinced of your love for her.
I do not have feelings for Rachel, okay?
Oh, what's wrong?
Monica and Chandler are really moving in here
and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Oh, my God, come here. Come here.
It's okay. Ah.
Everything is gonna be okay.
- Thank you. - Of course.
[instrumental music]
So, Ross and Rachel got married.
Monica and Chandler almost got married.
You think you and I should hook up?
Oh, we do.
But not just yet.
Really? But when?
Okay, um, ahem, well..
...first Chandler and Monica will get married
and be filthy rich, by the way
but, um, it won't work out.
- Wow. - I know.
Then I'm gonna marry Chandler for the money
and you'll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Great.
But then we ditch those two and that's when we get married.
We'll have Chandler's money
and Rachel's kids.
And getting custody will be easy
because of Rachel's drinking problem.
Oh-oh. What about Ross?
I don't wanna go into the whole thing
but, um, we have words and I kill him.
[theme music]