[metal clangs]
Well, that thing's clearly in the way.
Alright. Ah-ha.
[electrical crackles]
[screaming]
Damn fridge!
Hey, Joey, how ya doin'?
- Great...roomie. - Huh.
Yeah, I guess we are roommates now.
Yeah, well, now that you bring it up
uh, our fridge is broken.
We have to get a new one.
I checked around and your half is $400.
Thanks a lot, Rach.
I'm not payin' for half of that.
I'm only stayin' here until my apartment gets fixed.
Look, Rach, my parents bought this fridge
just after I was born, okay?
Now, I have never had a problem with it.
Then you show up and it breaks.
What does that tell ya?
That refrigerators don't live as long as people.
Alright, now, you-you know that the ATM will only
lets you take out 300 at a time
so I'll take a check for the other hundred.
[chuckles] You joking, right?
Of course, I'm jokin'. I don't take checks.
Thank God, you're pretty.
[theme music]
♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke you're broke ♪
♪ You're love life's DOA ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day your week ♪
♪ Your month or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
♪ 'Cause you're there for me too-o-o ♪♪
[instrumental music]
- Hi. - Hey.
Do you guys know any cute guys?
Well, of course, I do.
My good friend Joey over here.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Thank you, Chandler.
Anyway, uh, there's this big charity ball this weekend
and Ralph Lauren bought a table
so I kinda have to go.
- What's the charity? - I don't know.
Somethin' either trees or disease, I..
Ralph mumbles a lot.
Does Ralph mumble when you're not paying attention?
Yeah, it's weird.
But the thing is, I need to find a date.
Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?
Well, someone that has his own tux.
Or has the ability to rent a tux.
So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Ooh! So close.
- Hey, everybody. - Hi, there.
Hey, uh, this is Elizabeth.
- 'Oh, hi, Elizabeth.' - Hi.
I'm the student.
Isn't she cute? No!
You know, this is probably none of my business
but weren't you guys supposed
to not be seen in public together?
- Oh, we're not together. - Oh, no, no, no.
We're just two people who happen to have run into
each other here at the coffee house.
Oh, sly.
Well, I really wanted to meet you guys.
But I have to run. I'll see you later?
(together) Okay.
- Bye, Ross. - Bye.
Oops! I didn't mean to run into you like that sir.
Oh, that is quite alright, ma'am.
Bye.
So why is she leaving, is it a school night
and she has a lot of homework to do?
Yes, her molecular epidemiology paper is due tomorrow.
Oh, tell her good luck with that.
Anyone else? Huh?
Bring 'em on.
Ooh! When's her birthday?
I don't know Rachel, why?
Well, you know, it's just been so long since
I've been to Chuck E. Cheese's.
Oh, hmm.
- Oh, I like Elizabeth. - 'Well, thanks.'
Yeah, in fact, I like her so much
that you tell her I want my cookies early this year.
You know, a box of Thin Mints and some Tagalongs.
Hey, hey, come on you guys, give him a break.
Ross, seriously, how's it going with her?
Well, it's actually been great.
She's 20, so she's not looking for anything too serious
which is perfect for me, right now.
Well that is great. And seriously, she seems very nice.
Thanks, I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all
but it really means a lot to me that you like her.
Just knowing that you guys are like--
Okay, I got a good one.
Okay, um, what is she? Like 12?
[instrumental music]
Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Yeah, do we have any Fruit Roll-Ups?
- Hey. - 'Hey.'
Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy
for Rachel to take to her thing.
Oh, that's so funny because we found someone too.
Oh, that's good, I guess she'll have a choice
between my guy and your weirdo.
Why would our guy be a weirdo?
'Cause that's just your taste.
[laughs]
See, Rachel, is not going to pick your stupid guy.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
My guy is a lawyer.
Who does volunteer work.
And he has one of these.
A face ass?
A chin dimple.
Well, uh, you know, our guy works with Chandler
and he's really nice and smart and he's a great dresser.
Have you seen your guy's body?
No, our guy is just a floating head.
Well, my guy is spectacular, okay?
He's a massage client and one time
um, when he was on the table
I looked at it and I mean all of it.
You're not supposed to look.
Oh, yeah, like, there are police for that.
Wait! You look? You-you massaged me.
I know.
Alright fine, your guy may have a great body
but our guy is really funny.
Oh, Chandler funny?
Our guy's a great dancer.
My guy is well read.
Our guy has great hair.
My guy has great teeth.
Our guy smells incredible.
Do you want our guy to be your guy?
[instrumental music]
- Hey. - 'Huh.'
Well, you
you don't look good, Joe.
Well, the fridge broke.
So I have to eat everything.
Cold cuts, ice cream, limes..
Hey, what was in that brown jar?
- That's still in there? - Not anymore.
[clears throat] So anyway
how do you wanna pay me?
Is this a service you're providing me?
No. No. No. For my new fridge.
For our new fridge.
Our new fridge?
I don't live here anymore.
So what?
Look, okay. Suppose we were a, uh, divorced couple.
Uh-huh.
And I got custody of the kid, right?
Now, suppose the kid
dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
Okay.
Give me $400!
[instrumental music]
- Professor Geller? - Hmm.
Oh, a student, I don't know.
I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?
Yes, of course, what-what would this be regarding?
- Making out in your office. - Oh, shh.
Yeah, uh, of course, why don't we go inside?
- Oh-ooh. - What?
- Doorknob. Doorknob. - Oh.
Sorry.
Um, I actually do need to talk to you.
Oh, okay. What-what about?
Uh, Spring vacation.
Spring vacation.
Yeah, we have time off
and a lot of people are going on trips and..
[pounding on door]
- Professor Geller. - Yes.
Professor Feesen-sen-stenlger.
I'll be with you in one moment.
So I will take one box of the Thin Mints.
You don't understand Elizabeth was about
to ask me to go on a trip with her.
Is that taking it slow?
No, I'm not ready for this, okay?
What-what do I tell her?
Just tell her the truth.
Tell her you're not ready.
Yeah, I could do that.
Oh-oh, what if she gets upset?
Then, you distract her with a Barbie doll.
Or you can just, you know.
What the hell are you doing?
What?
What the hell am I doin'?
You just broke my fridge!
What? What? How do you know..
How do you know it's even broken?
Oh-ho-ho, you think, I don't know
what breaks my fridge?
Excuse me.
Well, what do you know?
Broken.
That'll be $400.
Joey, I saw you push him.
You pushed him?
Joey, I did not break this, okay?
That has been broken for a while.
Alright, Chandler, do you remember I told you
about our fridge?
I still haven't gotten a check for your half yet.
Do not give him any money.
I'm not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
[instrumental music]
You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Yes, yes, please come in.
- Ooh-ooh. - Doorknob?
Yeah, it kinda grows on you.
Actually, I-I wanted to finish talking
to you about, uh, spring vacation.
Oh, good.
Look, I..
Look, I'm having a great time with you
and I just don't want us to move too fast
or put to much pressure on us.
So I'm sorry, I just don't think
we should go away together yet.
It's-it's too soon.
Uh, Ross, I think you misunderstood
what I was saying.
I just wanted to tell you that
I'm going to Florida for a couple weeks.
No.
I think you misunderstood what I was saying.
What I meant was--
You are so adorable.
That..
Lets talk about that.
[instrumental music]
- Hi. - Hey
Hey, how did it go with Elizabeth?
Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine.
Uh, it was just a-a misunderstanding.
She didn't want me to go with her.
She just wanted to let me know that
she's going to Florida for spring vacation.
Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation
or is she going for spring break?
Whoo-ho-he.
What's-what's the difference?
Well, a spring vacation you're doing
nice things with your grandparents.
Spring break you're doing frat guys.
Hey, you know what, not all
spring breaks are-are like that.
What did you do on yours?
I went to Egypt with my dad.
I can see it now.
Look, dad, it's the Sphinx.
Boo-whoo-whoa-hu.
I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than spring break.
Whoa-he-whoo.
Alright. I mean, come on, she's taken my class.
And slept with the professor.
- I'm gonna call her. - Yeah.
- Hey! - 'Hey.'
- You guys.
Um, I want you to meet Sebastian.
- Hi. - We just, uh..
We just met at the newsstand, we both grabbed
for the last "Field & Stream."
What? I read that.
Can I get you a cup of coffee?
- Oh, yes, thank you. - Okay.
- Rachel, what the hell is this? - What?
You ask us to find you a guy
and then, you come traipsing
in here with a guy of your own?
You found me a guy?
Yes, we found you a really cute
and funny guy from Chandler's work.
Yeah, and I-I found you one too
who is not a weirdo.
Well, you know what, though, you guys?
I really appreciate that
but I-I'm just gonna take Sebastian to the charity.
Are you sure? Because our guy smells incredible.
Uh, would you stop it with that already?
- Here you go. - Oh, thank you.
- Sure. - Ahem.
So, Sebastian
do you do any volunteer work?
Uh, no, not really. Why?
No reason. It's just I know a single guy
who does care about other people.
Are you funny?
- Excuse me? - What are you guys doing?
Are you funny? Tell us a joke!
Look, I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel.
- Yeah. - Well, so do a lot of people.
Actually, uh, I got to get going.
- Oh.. - Give me a call sometime.
Oh, but you know, you didn't give me your phone number.
Okay, see you later.
Turns out he is kinda funny.
[instrumental music]
I cannot believe you guys.
He was really nice
and he just left because of you.
Yeah, but Sebastian?
What is that, a cat's name?
Yeah, you know what I noticed, Rachel?
He scares easy, you know?
Is that the kind of guy you wanna take to a ball?
Hey, Sebastian, would you like to dance?
Uh, okay, I gotta go. Uh-uh..
Alright, guys, stop it. Rachel, uh, we're very sorry.
That is, uh, very insensitive thing for us to do
and, you know what, let us make it up to you.
We have two really great guys for you.
(Phoebe) 'Yeah, what have you got to lose?'
You know, you might even end up with someone really special
if you pick my guy.
- Alright. - Okay.
- So you will meet our guys? - Yes, I'll meet 'em.
Okay, now, it doesn't matter which one you choose.
You know, it's completely up to you.
Our guy is perfect.
Or you could go out with the guy that Phoebe deemed
not good enough to go out with herself.
Phoebe, there you are.
Okay, you broke my fridge. You owe me 400 bucks.
- Okay, sure. - Really?
Ooh, technically, you owe me $600
for sending out happy thoughts on your last ten auditions.
Call it even?
Okay.
Well, there you are. So what did Elizabeth say?
Well, it turns out she is going
to Daytona for spring break.
Whoo-hoo.
That means, that means Wet T-Shirt Contest
guys doing shots off of a girls' bodies
wakin' up next to people you don't even know.
Man, she is gonna have a great time.
Uh, is she staying at the Hotel Corona?
- You know the hotels? - Sure. I was there.
Spring break '81. Whoo-hee!
- In 1981, you were 13. - So what?
I drove down, sold T-shirts. Had a blast.
And you know who knows how to party?
Drunk college chicks.
[sighs] Okay, she can't go.
Ross, you can't tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Then, what am I supposed to do?
Nothing. You just have to be cool with it.
Well, what if she goes down there
and-and sleeps with a bunch of guys?
Well, maybe you don't marry this one.
[instrumental music]
I'm so glad you're going on this trip.
Yeah, I've been working so hard this semester.
I really need to go crazy, you know?
- Blow off some steam. - Sure, sure.
Look, I don't-I don't know if your plans
are finalized yet, but, um..
Hey, I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
- What? - Are you into crafts at all?
Ross, are you okay?
Well, yeah-yeah, of course-of course, I'm okay.
Well, I'm just being, uh, supportive.
Supportive of you and this whole trip, and..
What-what is, uh, what-what's this?
- It's a bathing suit. - To wear in front of people?
- Is that supportive? - Is this?
[instrumental music]
- Hey. - Go, go, go.
- Hey. - Hi.
We're really glad you decided to meet our guy.
- Oh.. - 'Gonna like him so much.'
So, uh, when do you wanna meet him?
I don't know. I know that
I don't work late tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good.
But, uh, you know what? Why put off something till tomorrow
you could do right now?
- Eldad, come here. - 'What?'
- Eldad, this is Rachel. - How are you?
Look, well, a little blindsided but, you know, good.
[laughing]
Eldad, sit down.
- I.. - Move over. Move over now.
There you go. There you are.
Okay, okay, we can take a hint.
What are you doing here?
- This is Patrick. - Hi.
Hi. Okay, you're too late, okay
because she's already with our guy.
Oh, my God, you're right. I am too late.
They're sitting on the couch and talking.
Come on.
- Rachel. - Yeah?
This is Patrick.
- Oh, hi. - 'Hi.'
Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
- 'Yeah.' - Yeah.
And believe me, this suit does not do justice
to what's underneath it.
Okay..
- But, Pheebs, come here. - 'Yeah?'
I'm just sort of in the middle of somethin'.
Oh, okay, yeah, that's okay.
Have a seat.
- You can't do that. - Maybe I should go.
You just sit down. We're winning.
Okay, you know what, maybe I should go.
No! No! No! Have a seat. You have a seat.
Rachel, Rachel, you haven't touched
Eldad's hair.
It is the softest hair. Touch it.
Oh, yeah, I'm good.
Rachel, Patrick is really rich.
Give her some money.
- Uh.. - Oh!
You know what, Phoebe?
This isn't really worth the free massage.
That's right, Patrick. Buh-Bye.
Eldad is much more cooperative and he can dance.
You dance for Rachel.
Oh, my God..
No, no, no, don't dance for me!
Please, don't dance.
What is the matter with you guys?
Yeah, okay, let's talk it out.
(Rachel) 'I..'
Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
I'm a little embarrassed.
Shh, shh, shh.
I'll tell you who should be embarrassed, it's you guys.
Come on, this is ridiculous. Thank you very much
but I do not need you to get me a date.
- Then why did she ask us-- - I am still talking!
And then, you chase away the one guy
that I actually liked.
I mean, no offense to you guys, really.
I mean, congratulations on all the cash.
(Rachel) And-and, you know, you really
wow, you do have very soft hair.
But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself
than go through any more of this.
Goodbye.
Now, do you use some sort of special conditioner
on that hair?
Yes, papaya extract.
Thank you.
[instrumental music]
So, uh, have a great time down there.
- I will. - Yeah.
Hey, did-did you pack that bathing suit?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
It was pretty funny when I-when I
hid it for a while, huh?
Anyway, um..
Uh, I am worried about that bathing suit.
Uh, not because it's revealing
which I'm fine with.
No, I'm concerned about your health..
...um, sun exposure.
Oh, don't worry. I have plenty of sunblock.
- It's SPF-30. - Alright.
Well, if what's in the bottle
is actually 30.
I mean, sometimes you get 30, sometimes it's-it's four.
And I swear to God, more often than not
it's just milk.
Ross, it's gonna be okay.
I'm not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys.
I really like you.
I like how things are going between us.
- Really? - Yeah.
I'm just going down there to relax
and hang out with my friends.
[sighs] Okay. Cool.
- Oh, hey, here they are. - Hey, Elizabeth!
[cheering]
Bye.
Call me!
[instrumental music]
Rachel, we're sorry for pushing those guys on you.
Oh, that's alright.
I ended up having a really good time.
You know, the charity was a big success
and they raised a lot of money, and awareness.
So what was it for, anyway?
I wanna say a disease.
[door opens]
- Hey. - 'Hey.'
I Just got this really weird message from Ross.
He said "Turn on MTV."
(Rachel) Alright.
♪ You're delicious ♪
♪ Come and feed me.. ♪
Oh, my God! Look! That's Elizabeth!
(Rachel) 'Oh, Ha ha ha.'
♪ Left to cry for ♪
♪ You're delicious.. ♪
Oh, oh, Professor Geller.
- Ah, to be 13 again. - 'Yeah.'
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ Yeah yeah yeah whoo-ho.. ♪♪