Why is everybody using these tiny little lights nowadays?
I remember when people used to use big lights.
That's a good story, grandpa.
- Hey. - 'Hey.'
Wow.
Monica's letting other people help decorate her tree.
Did someone get her drunk again or..
Having a perfectly decorated tree
is not what Christmas is about.
It's about being with the people that you love.
That is nice and we're done, ta-da!
I don't know what it is just doesn't quite feel
like Christmas to me.
Oh, yeah.
See, now it feels like Christmas.
[theme music]
♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke you're broke ♪
♪ Your love life's DOA ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day your week your month ♪
♪ Or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
♪ 'Cause you're there for me too ♪♪
[instrumental music]
And that's the story of the Dreidel.
Now, some people trace the Christmas tree
back to the Egyptians
who used to bring green palm branches
into their huts on the shortest day of the year
symbolizing life's triumph over death
and that was, like, 4,000 years ago.
So pretty much around the same time
that you started telling this story.
- Hey, you guys. - Hey, Joe, what's up?
- Hi. - Hey.
I had to get out of the apartment.
Janine is, like, stretching all over the place.
You know, everywhere I look, she's, like..
I can see why that's hard to resist.
I like her so much!
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie
that she doesn't feel the same way.
I know. She's so sweet.
I just want to...feed her grapes and brush her hair.
You are aware that she's not a monkey, right?
I am so over Janine.
I mean, uh, y-y-yeah, at first, I thought she was hot
but now, she's like, old news.
- Hey, guys. - Janine!
Coffee to go, please.
I just got a call to be a dancer
on a television special for New Year's Eve.
It's called some sort of Dickin' Rockin' Dickie Eve.
Hold it.
Are you talking about Dick Clark's
"New Year's Rockin' Eve?"
Yeah. That's what I said.
Oh, my God! We love that show.
I mean, Ross and I have been watching it since
I-I.. Since I can remember.
Uh, you're still just a little fat girl inside
aren't you?
Well, I'm gonna be on it this year.
I'm gonna be one of the party people.
What.. You're gonna be a party person?
Those guys rock the most!
Well, they said I should bring someone.
Uh, do you want to be my dance partner?
Totally! I would love to spend New Year's with you.
No, well, actually, they're taping tomorrow.
I don't really understand why.
Oh, you see how it works is
the part with Dick Clark in Times Square
is actually live but
they tape some of the party stuff
ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Yeah, well, do you guys wanna come, too?
- Are you serious? - We are there.
[laughing]
What? What are you laughing at?
Well, I used to date him..
But you're still going out with her.
Oh, thanks.
Great. So we can all go together.
Well, I gotta run. I'll catch you later.
- Bye. - Bye, Janine.
Did she just ask me out on a date?
I don't think so.
What-what are you talking about he.. She just invited him to
the biggest party of the millennium.
Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross.
Honey, I'm-I'm sorry but I don't think that..
That was a romantic thing.
Oh, well, maybe. But I-I, hey, I know how I can find out.
Well, we're going on a New Year's Eve party, right?
So, at midnight, I can kiss her.
And if she kisses me back, great, you know?
But if-if she says, "Dude, what the hell are you doing?"
I can say, "It-it wasn't me, it was New Year's."
Well, that's a lot better than Ross trying
to kiss me in high school and saying
that he did it because he needed chapstick.
It was a dry day.
We...are going to Dick Clark's "New Year's Rockin' Eve!"
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
[instrumental music]
Okay, now listen up. I've been on sets before.
So, let me give you a little advise, alright?
It's a show, but we're just dancing.
Okay, it's no big deal.
The important thing to remember..
...stay cool.
- Got it. - Okay.
Oh, my God, it's just like I dreamed it!
Okay, everyone, gather up.
- Oh. - Excuse us. Excuse us.
Excuse us.
Here's what's gonna happen.
The music's gonna start, you're gonna dance.
We're gonna tape you, don't look at the camera.
- Any questions? - Oh, yeah, I have a question.
Uh, when is this gonna air?
Yeah. Now, uh, you guys, dance over there.
You guys, over there. I want you two right around here.
And everyone else, spread out.
(Joey) 'Ross.'
So when is it gonna air?
[instrumental music]
Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen.
I will look in the back closet.
- Okay. - I can save you time, ladies.
I'm right here.
Yeah. Chandler, why don't you take a walk?
This doesn't concern you.
We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
What? That's terrible.
No, no, we do it every year.
Oh, well, that-that makes it not terrible.
No, yeah. We never find them.
She's always bested us, that wily...minx.
Yeah, don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour
and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, okay?
No, not okay. You can't look for Monica's presents.
- Oh, no, we have to. - No. You don't have to.
And you can't because I-I live here, too.
Well, then, you should look with us.
- Why? - Chandler, aren't you worried?
About what to get Monica for Christmas?
No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
[scoffing] Oh, that's it, a great idea..
Chandler, that's not enough.
I mean, what if she gets you a great present
two medium presents and then a bunch of little presents
and you've just gotten her one great present?
I mean, that's just gonna make her feel bad.
Why would you do that to her, Chandler? Why? Why?
If I helped we could find them faster.
That's right.
Oh, ooh, we have a live one.
Ooh, ah! It's a Macy's bag.
Yeah.
- Oh. - Ooh, who's it for?
"Dear losers, do you really think
"I'd hide presents under the couch?
"P.S., Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
Uh-oh. She may be on to us.
We are so gonna find them this year.
You know, you guys said you were gonna go across the hall
and look. You don't, you don't do that every year, do you?
Yeah.
You don't, like go into the back
of my closet and look under
my gym bag or anything.
- No. We never do that. - No.
Because that's where Joey gave me some stuff to store
that I've never seen before in my life.
Okay, that did not just happen.
[Smash Mouth singing "Every Word Means No"]
♪ Watching for a sound.. ♪
Okay, here comes another camera.
Right. No biggie, stay loose.
♪ ...wherever you go I can't help it.. ♪♪
Why do they keep doing that?
Oh, you know, if we wanna get on camera
we have to get up on one of those platforms.
They've been taping those people up there all day.
Right.
Hey, what did you guys do to get up on there?
We learned how to dance.
Oh, yeah, well when you learned how to dance
did you forget how to put on underpants?
Yeah.
- Hey, you're a good dancer. - Really?
Yeah, but you'd be better if you just loosened
your hips a little.
Wh-wh-what do you mean?
Well, like this.
That's it. Just feel the rhythm.
- That's better. - Uh-huh.
Okay, you're dancing with that girl over there.
- No, no, no. We.. - We came together.
Yeah, we came together.
I don't see it.
You are dancing with the tall guy over there.
Tall guy, raise your hand.
Oh, no. Hey, hey, hey, buddy.
Please let me dance with that girl. I really like her.
- And I think I have a shot. - Really? You think so?
I don't.
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
I couldn't find anything at Joey..
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Yeah, we found them.
They were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about
'cause they're all crap.
Those are my gifts. I got those for you.
Oh, thanks, Chandler. They're great.
Well, Chandler then what is this very weird
um, metal A, Z thing?
Those are bookends.
That's a great gift.
Oh, okay, I'm sorry. Thank you for my "AZ."
[chuckles]
Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Yes, okay.
Oh, by the way, I just gotta say
I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved
you still keep storing that stuff for Joey.
[instrumental music]
Hey-hey, dancing girl.
Can I.. Can I go to the bathroom?
Here we go. Yeah.
There you go. Hey-hey.
Looking good, Gellers.
We know.
Hey, look. You know that snippy guy over there?
He's the one who decides who gets on the platform.
- We should go dance by him. - Okay.
[indistinct singing]
Okay, everybody hold.
Next on the platforms are..
...you two, and..
- Whoo! - You two.
Excuse me, sir.
Would it help if I weren't wearing underpants?
Monica!
Would it?
[sighs]
Hey, tall guy.
Listen, I, uh, wanna talk to you about
that-that girl that you're dancing with.
Oh, she's nice, huh?
To think I almost brought my wife to this.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Uh, look, buddy, I came with that girl, okay.
And I ha-had this plan to kiss her at the New Year's countdown.
I-I'm trying to win her over, you know?
- So I was wondering-- - No, I don't think so.
Oh, come on, man. You-you can dance with my partner.
She's a.. She's real mellow.
Look, you, uh, you dating this girl you came with?
Well, I was hoping after tonight
that maybe I could, you know..
No, no, she's fair game if you ask me. Sorry, buddy.
Alright. Hey, you know, fair is fair.
I mean, you know, when you're right you're right.
What can I say, but..
Hey! Oh, my God!
[screams]
What, are you in the second grade?
Hey, man, you're the one who wet his pants.
Hey! Hey!
Hey! You!
♪ Doo o do o o o ♪
Man, this sucks.
If mom and dad don't see us on TV
after we made them so jealous..
I mean, who's gonna be the losers then?
Hey, I know what will get us up on a platform.
What?
The routine.
Ross, we haven't done the routine since middle school.
Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine
he'll want to build us our own platform.
Was it really that good?
What, we got honorable mention
in the brother-sister dance category!
Look, it's almost fake midnight.
Do we really have any other choice?
Okay, let's do it.
Mom and dad are gonna be so faced.
Move it. Move it.
♪ They're if's and they're maybe's ♪
♪ They think they are so big.. ♪
Five, six, seven, eight.
♪ Boys the trouble with ♪
♪ Boys the troubles with ♪
♪ Boys ♪
♪ They're nothing but trouble ♪
♪ Boys the trouble with ♪
♪ Boys the troubles with ♪
♪ Boys ♪
♪ They're nothing but trouble ♪
♪ They'll make you think they've got a halo above 'em ♪
♪ But boys are trouble ♪
♪ Trouble is all of them ♪
♪ Boys the trouble with ♪
♪ Boys the troubles with ♪
♪ Boys ♪
♪ They're nothing but trouble ♪
♪ Boys the trouble with ♪
♪ Boys the troubles with ♪
♪ Boys ♪
♪ They're nothing but trouble ♪
So, do we really need to ask
who's going up on the platform next?
Oh, no, you get up there and do that again exactly like that.
- Yeah! - Yeah!
Make sure and get this, Dick will want it
for the bloopers show.
Alright, cut.
Listen up, everyone, when we start again
it's gonna be the countdown to New Year's
so I want to see everybody's excitement.
Hey, guy, you've got about three seconds
to get away from my partner.
Oh, what's going on over here?
Uh, take a look at the guy's pants, huh?
I mean, I know you told us to show excitement
but don't you think he went a little overboard.
What's the matter with you? Get out of here.
Yeah, take a hike, wet pants.
Can you believe this?
We're gonna be on the platform
for the millennial moment.
I know.
Hey, you haven't been practicing
the routine, have you?
No.
Me, too.
Hey, when the music starts up again
I was thinking about maybe going into the robot, you know.
Ross, I think we should stick to the routine.
We don't wanna look stupid.
Alright, we're back.
Ten seconds left. Here we go.
- Ten. - Ten.
(all) Nine..
...eight...seven..
[thinking] Okay, it all comes down to this.
Whatever happens, happens.
Destiny.
(all) Three..
...two..
...one.
- Cut! - No!
Year!
Happy No Year.
Okay, here's where we go to the live shot of Times Square.
Nice work everyone. That's a wrap.
[instrumental music]
[quacking]
Hey, look who I found.
Oh, hi, guys.
You know, birds have a very good sense of direction.
I thought maybe they could help us find
where the presents are hidden.
Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Or we could just follow your clever jokes.
Any ideas? No? Didn't think so.
Okay.
Come on, guys, show us where the presents are.
Well, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage.
Hmm, I wonder what I can get Monica
that's as good as garbage?
Hmm, how about my "AZ?"
[knocking]
Hey.
- This is hollow. - What?
This bench, it's hollow.
I can't believe I never knew that.
- Oh! The presents! - Oh!
No, don't look directly at them.
What?
Alright, no, we could look at them.
Oh, this one's for me.
Ooh, oh, this one's for Chandler.
- Here. - Alright.
And the big one's for me.
- Okay, let's open them! - Okay, okay, okay.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
We can't do this.
- Why? - Why?
I don't wanna know what Monica got me, you know.
I mean, look, I'm sure she worked really hard
at getting me a present and wanting to surprise me
and you guys are gonna ruin that.
And that...look, we have to put these back.
This is not what Christmas is about.
Whatever, Linus. I'm opening mine.
Nobody is opening anything, okay?
Look...I don't know about you guys but
I want to see the look on Monica's face
when I give her my present.
And I'm sure she wants to see the look
on my face when I get mine.
So please, please, can we just.. Can we put them back?
Will you get us better gifts?
Fine.
Hey, guys.
You found the presents?
Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great.
Do you know how long it took me to find you
that water purifier?
- That's what you got me? - Oh, yes, I see what you mean.
That look is priceless.
[instrumental music]
Home sweet home, huh?
Nice to, uh...get back to reality.
Plus, we, uh, know how the New Year's gonna go off.
I guess there's no reason for all that Y2K panic, you know.
Anyway, g-goodnight.
- Joey. - Yeah?
Three..
...two...one.
Happy New Year.
[babbling]
Wh-wh-what was that for?
Well, I don't know, tonight when they yelled cut
and we didn't get to kiss I was really..
...really disappointed and I just..
I just really wanted to kiss you.
Really?
In the moment, I-I really wanted to kiss you, too.
I mean, in the moment.
- In the moment, huh? - Yeah, but only in the moment.
So, do you, uh..
...wanna kiss again?
Sure. New Year's Eve is only two weeks away.
Can you wait?
No.
Me neither.
[instrumental music]
Three...two..
Joey, you don't have to countdown
every time we kiss.
Oh. Okay.
Except that I...sort of felt like I needed
a couple seconds to get ready.
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
♪ We'll take ♪
♪ A cup of kindness yet ♪
♪ For auld lang syne ♪♪
We were on the platform
ready to dance the world into the new millennium
and the guy yells, "cut."
Wait a minute, so you guys are telling me
that you actually did the routine from eighth grade?
Yeah. But of course, we had to update it a little bit.
Hey, by the way, quick thinking about catching me.
Yeah, 'cause I was gonna say there's no way
you could have done the end the way you guys did it back then.
What?
We could do it.
I don't know. I mean, you were a lot bigger..
I mean, stronger back then.
I can do it, okay.
Come on, let's go.
One, two, three, four, five..
(both) Six, seven, eight.
- I can't do it! - Ah!
Now, you do that, you're on TV.
[theme music]