I'm gonna get some more coffee to go.
Do you want anything, baby doll?
I'm fine. Thanks.
Yeah, see, I can't pull off "Baby doll," can I?
No, I-I think we learned that from the "Sugar lips" incident.
- I'm gonna make some tea. - Okay.
- How you doing, pumkin'? - Nope.
So it looks like it's going really well for you two, huh?
I know, really well, in fact..
...I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
- Oh, my God. - What do, what do you think?
I think that is so great. When are you gonna ask her?
Tonight, but don't say anything, okay?
I swear. I promise, I promise.
My God, I'm so excited.
Alright, but listen, let me tell you
do not get her flowers, okay?
Because, you know, she cries when they die
and then there's the whole funeral..
I'll see you after work, sweetie.
Okay, yeah, bye.
So, what movie should we see?
Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!
What, really?
He just told me at the counter.
He made me promise not to tell
but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
- I can't believe this. - Right, because it's fast.
Because it's so fast. It's fast.
Relax, it's Phoebe, not you.
Oh, good for you, Pheebs. Way to go.
- But it is fast, isn't it? - No.
I like him a lot, but I don't think I'm ready for this.
- So what are you gonna do? - I don't know.
I'll just handle it. I'll ask you to talk to him.
Me? Why me?
Because you are so afraid of commitment.
You talk to him. Make him scared like you.
Make him, uh, a man.
Okay, I'll try but I'm not sure what good it would do, you know
because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment
than I used to be.
- Oh, that is so sweet. - Hmm.
Still terrified, I'll take care of it, no problem.
[theme music]
♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke you're broke your love life's DOA ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day your week your month ♪
♪ Or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
♪ When the rain starts to pour ♪
♪ I'll be there for you ♪
♪ Like I've been there before ♪
♪ I'll be there for you ♪
♪ 'Cause you're there for me too ♪♪
Hey, Ross, is, uh, is Staten Island really an island?
Uh-huh. That's why they call it Staten Island.
Oh. I thought it was like Long Island.
Also an island.
- Hey, what time is it? - 2:17.
Wow, you realize we've been throwing this ball
without dropping it for, like, an hour?
Are you serious?
Yeah, I realized it a half hour ago
but didn't wanna say anything
'cause I didn't wanna jinx it.
'Hmm.'
Wow, we are pretty good at this.
[chuckling] Yeah.
Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.
Oh, I think that's the first time
I've ever missed a meal.
Yeah, I think my pants are a little loose.
Hey, you guys. Uh, is Monica here?
- No. - No.
Alright. Listen, um, I just bought something.
I'm not sure she's gonna like it and it's gonna seem
a little crazy, but this is something I've wanted
since I was a little girl.
You bought Shaun Cassidy!
No, I wish.
Okay. You ready?
- Yeah. - 'Okay.'
Check it out.
Oh, my God! What-what is--
What, what the hell is that?
It's, it's a cat.
That is not a cat.
Yes, it is.
Why is it inside out?
Excuse me, but this is a purebred
show-quality Sphynx cat.
How much did you pay for that?
Well, it was a little extravagant
but I got a pretty good deal.
- Yeah? How much? - A 1,000 bucks.
On a cat?
It's not a cat!
Alright, listen, ball boys
my grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl
and it was the sweetest thing.
I mean, it was so cute.
It would sit in my lap and just purr all day long
and I would drag a shoestring on the ground
and it would chase it.
Free cats do that too, you know.
It's not a cat!
Look, you guys. I'm really excited about this, okay?
I don't care what you think.
I'm gonna go set up a litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson.
Well, what am I gonna call her, Fluffy?
Hey, do you wanna get something to eat or, uh, do you wanna see
how long we can throw this ball back and forth, huh?
Uh...the ball thing.
Yeah?
Hey, Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go
for like, two straight hours without dropping it?
Uh...yeah, it would.
- Let's do it. - Okay.
- Uh-oh. - 'What?'
I have to pee...and Rachel's in the bathroom.
(Joey) 'Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it.'
I know.
Don't switch hands, okay?
Hey, ladies. What are you in here for?
[chuckling]
Hey, Chandler. What are you doing here?
Gary, I am here to report a crime.
It is a crime that you and I don't spend more time together.
What's up?
Uh, well, I heard that you were thinking
about asking Phoebe to move in with you
and I thought maybe we should have a talk
you know, man to...well, me.
- Sure. Okay. - Okay.
Um, are you crazy? Are you insane?
If you live with Phoebe, you two are
gonna be, you know, liv-living together.
Yeah. I-I considered that. I just know it'd make me happy.
[laughing] You mean scared.
No, I mean happy.
- Well, scared-happy. - Chandler, what are you doing?
I am trying to open your eyes, my man. Don't you see?
If you live with Phoebe, she's always gonna be there.
You're gonna get home, she's there.
You go to bed, she's there.
You wake up, and, oh, yes, she's there.
I know, I can't wait.
Were your parents happy or something?
Listen, Chandler. The way I see it is, I was lucky enough
to find someone that I really love.
I just, I wanna be around her as much as I can.
Wow, you know, w-when you say it, it doesn't sound so scary.
See, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Yeah, I think I do. You know what?
You move in with her. You move in with her right now.
Maybe I should move in with Monica.
No, it's too soon for you guys.
[chuckling] You're right about that.
Now, when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon
they discovered what appeared to be
the remains of a Paleozoic amphibian in its jaws.
How did it get there?
Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night.
'It was right here. W-whe-where is it?'
- I don't know. - Alright, well, come on.
- I'm, I'm late for work. - How do you know?
You don't have a watch.
[giggling]
Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball
for one minute and just help me find it?
Oh, I don't know. Yeah, can't do it.
- No, do.. - Aah! Aah!
- What? - Monica, whatever you do.
Do not drop that ball.
Yeah, we haven't dropped it in..
- Two hours, 27 minutes. - Hmm.
Really?
[talking nasally] I'm-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today.
Um, I don't feel very good.
Yes!
Wow, uh, for a second there, I thought
I was feeling better, but I'm not.
- 'Hey, Rach.' - Hey.
Check it out, almost three hours without dropping it.
- Whoo. - Oh, wow, congratulations.
That's quite a waste of time.
- Rach? - Yeah?
You have scratches all over you. W-what happened?
- Well, it's my cat. - What?
- Oh, yeah. I got a cat. - I, I don't want a cat.
Oh, don't worry. It's not a cat.
(Ross) 'Yeah.'
You guys, this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat.
I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute.
I even dragged that little string on the ground
and it j-just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me.
And I swear, I know this sounds crazy
but every time this cat hisses at me
I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
Doesn't sound as crazy as paying a $1,000 for a cat.
What? You paid a $1,000 for a cat when you owe me 300.
[stammering] Well...I was gonna let you play with it.
- Hey. - Hmm.
Did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Yes, I did, and I think you should do it.
- What? - He's a great guy, you know?
And he loves you a lot, you are a very lucky lady.
You are useless.
Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do.
The one thing! And you can't even do that right. God!
I'm sorry. If you ask me, I'd move in with him.
Oh!
God! Ooh, get out of here, good-for-nothing.
Hey, Chandler.
Hey, Gar.
Hey, sweetie.
Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah. Okay.
You look very pretty today.
Thanks. Okay.
- Here's the thing. - Yeah?
You know, I really want
this relationship to move forward.
Because if you're not moving forward
you know, you're just moving backwards.
Now, that's not true.
If you're not moving forward
you're just staying still.
And staying still is good, watch this.
- Phoebe? - Yeah?
I want you to move in with me.
That is so sweet.
But don't you think that it's a little too soon?
I mean, there's so much that we don't know about each other.
Oh. Oh-oh-okay, I get it.
I just, I don't want us to jump into something
you know, that we're not ready for.
- You know? - Uh-huh.
I really don't wanna mess up what we have.
I'm just, I'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
Yeah.
Which is why my answer is yes!
- Really? - Uh-huh! I'm so happy.
Monica, stop throwing it so hard!
We're on the same team!
Four hours? You guys have been doing this for four hours?
- That's right, baby. - Alright, let me in.
No-no! Don't do it! Don't!
What?
He's a dropper.
Oh, yeah. That's right.
I'm not a dropper!
It's really, a, a, a, three-person game, you know?
It's throwing and catching.
Alright.
Oh! Oh! It's so hard.
[duck quacking]
Don't worry, guys. It's not a cat.
Oh, my, oh, good God!
I give up, you guys, I don't know
what I'm gonna do with this thing.
Baking it didn't help, huh?
So why don't you just take it back to where you got it?
I tried. They won't take her back.
Well, maybe that's because she's a minion of the Antichrist.
Rach, why won't they take it back?
Well, they said would, but they would only give me store credit.
And I mean, what am I gonna do, get a thousand regular cats?
Look, if you want, you can keep it at our place
until you find out what to do with it.
No, Mon, that's not the point.
I'm out a $1,000, I'm all scratched up
and I'm stuck with this stupid cat
that looks like a hand.
[sneezing]
Oh, my God, the cat's made my eyes water.
Don't, don't throw it to me!
My vision's been compromised!
Oh, God! Okay. Okay.
It's okay. Man, that was close.
Yeah, you almost overreacted to something.
- Hey. - Hey
- Hey. - We have great news.
We're moving in together. Isn't it great? Yay!
- Hey, congrats. - Congratulations.
- I know, I'm so excited. - So am I.
Well, you're not more excited than I am.
No way, I'm the most excited. Ha.
Okay, I'll see you at the station later.
Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
Don't forget about the moving-in.
(Gary) 'Alright.'
So, you're moving in with him? What happened?
I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad.
But maybe it'll be alright.
'I do really like him a lot.'
and probably do it eventually anyway
and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Why, do you write him a lot?
No, I just heard when people live together
they split the cost of stamps, don't they?
- Yeah. - That's right. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
The oven mitts really freaked me out.
Hey, honey.
Hey, so did you find any apartments?
- Anything in Brooklyn Heights? - No, nothing.
- Oh, really? Nothing at all? - Yeah.
No, as soon as something opens up, we'll move right in.
Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool.
Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Uh-huh.
- Here, take a seat. - Alright.
You okay?
You feeling alright?
Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.
So you, uh, you checked the paper
for listings in Brooklyn Heights, right?
You-you checked The Post?
Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing.
- Can I get some water? - In a minute.
You-you checked today's Post?
Um, yeah, today's.
Hmm, 'cause, uh, this is today's Post
and, uh, these are the listings I found.
"Brooklyn Heights, two bedrooms. Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom.
Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights!"
Oh, are these for rent?
I thought people were just bragging.
Let me tell you what I think might be going on here.
No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me.
Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them.
And I think someone said yes but now she's having doubts
'cause maybe things are moving too fast for someone.
Does that sound at all possible to you?
Yes. Yes! Yes, fine! I am someone!
You want me to say it? I have doubts.
I'm sorry!
- Phoebe. - Yeah?
Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way.
I mean, I mean, it is soon.
And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other
and I just figured
everything I know about you, I really like.
And the things I don't know, I get to learn about
in a place with both our names on the mailbox.
That's so sweet.
Sweetheart...but none of that matters
if it's too soon for you.
It's fine, we don't have to move in together.
I just, I want you to be happy.
Living with you would make me happy.
Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
No, I really wanna live with you.
- I wanna move in with you. - Are you sure?
Yes. Definitely! Yes!
Let's live in an apartment that we both live in!
Oh, that's great.
Oh, wait, one sec, one sec.
Hey you! Behind the glass!
Who are you lookin' at?
I've always wanted to say that every time
when I was in one of these rooms, which was never.
Show cat! Quality show cat!
Show cat!
Oh, my God! What's wrong with your baby?
It's not a, it's not a baby. That's a cat.
Eww! It's creepy looking!
Oh, no. No, it's actually, it's very sweet.
It's very sweet. Look.
[hissing]
Yeah, do you want it?
[laughing] No, I hate cats.
Well, so then what are you doing to me?
Okay? Just get out of here! Alright? Move on!
- Sheez! - Wow, what an unusual cat.
Yes. Thank you! Exactly. You want it?
Maybe. I was thinking about getting a cat.
I was just gonna go to the shelter but..
- Okay, why not? - Oh, terrific.
That'll be $2,000.
- What? - Okay, a 1,000.
I thought you wanted me to adopt your cat.
Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look
at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat.
Yeah, okay, okay-okay-okay, l-l-l-look..
Obviously, you know how to haggle
so I'm not gonna try and take you on.
Okay, so $800 and I don't call the cops which I should
because you're robbing me blind! Blind.
Just take the cat, leave the money, and run away!
Just run away! Dammit! Ugh!
Cat, can't you at least smile or something?
[hissing]
Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
I'm starving.
Come on, guys. Suck it up.
We're closing in on ten hours.
It's gut-check time.
I don't know who made you the boss, alright.
- We invented this game. - 'Please!'
I made this game what it is.
Not fun anymore?
I'm still hungry.
Alright, there's some pizza at my place
we can all eat with one hand, right?
- Yeah, are you with me? - I am.
Alright, let's go. Come on. Come on.
Let's go, Team Monica!
Alright, we can work out that name later.
Rachel, what is your cat doing in one of my bowls?
It's not. I'm defrosting a chicken.
Oh, I sold, uh, Mrs. Whiskerson.
Oh, thank God!
- Did you get your money back? - Yeah, $1,500.
(Monica) 'Wow, you made a profit?'
Hey, I just came for the red-velvet pillow.
Oh, yeah. There you go.
- Thanks, Rachel. - Hmm.
Yeah, and, uh, don't forget
you, you can come visit her anytime you want.
Oh, good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind.
Hey! So what is this? Some kind of snake or something?
[bird chirping]
I really like waking up with you.
I like waking up with you too.
Oh! It's such a beautiful morning.
Oh, I could stay here all day.
That would be great.
We could have breakfast in bed--
- Wait, just a second. - Okay.
Oh!
[chirping stops]
Oh, no.
Alright! Come on, come on, Monica!
Look alive! Come on, look alive!
- Oh, good. You're all up. - Hey.
Phoebe, it's 6 o'clock in the morning.
Why aren't you at Gary's?
- Oh, yeah, that's over. - 'What?'
Come on, Gary's such a great guy.
Whatever the problem is, you can work it out.
- He shot a bird. - Oh, that is over.
- That's terrible! - Honey, I'm sorry.
- Pheebs, are you okay? - Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.
- Oh, hey, here, Pheebs. - Oh.
Nah, I don't feel like playing.
[all gasping]
It's okay. It's okay. Wait.
Just pretend that it didn't happen, okay?
No one needs to know!
Ph-Phoebe's not an official ballplayer.
I mean, only official ballplayers can drop the ball.
- Yeah, let's go. - Yeah.
Phoebe, honey. You wanna get some breakfast?
- Yeah. - Okay! Okay, let's race!
First one there wins! Ha ha!
- You guys wanna eat here? - Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, man. That was great, huh?
Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?
Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long.
I know, my arm is killing me.
No, I meant, with the dropper over here.
You know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper?
Okay? I'm anything but a dropper.
Ross?