Friends, family, we're gathered to celebrate here today
the joyous union of Ross and Emily.
Now Ross, repeat after me.
'I, Ross.'
(Ross) '"I, Ross."'
Take thee, Emily.
Take thee, Rachel.
Emily.
Uh, shall I go on?
He-he said Rachel right?
Do you think I should go up there?
Yes. Yes, do go on.
- I think we better start again. - Yes.
Ross, repeat after me.
I, Ross.
"I, Ross."
Take thee, Emily..
Like there'd be anybody else.
As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health
till death parts us.
"As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health
until death parts us."
Really, I do. Emily.
Do you have the rings?
Emily, place this ring on Ross' finger
as a symbol of your bond everlasting.
[grunts]
Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand
as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Happy to.
'Ross and Emily have made their declarations.'
And it gives me great pleasure
to declare them husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
[instrumental music]
Just keep smiling.
Okay.
Well, that went well, yeah.
It could've been worse. He could've shot her.
That, uh, that was pretty funny, wasn't it?
[groans]
[theme music]
♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke you're broke ♪
♪ Your love life's DOA ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day your week your month ♪
♪ Or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
♪ When the rain starts to pour ♪
♪ I'll be there for you ♪
♪ Like I've been there before ♪
♪ I'll be there for you ♪
♪ 'Cause you're there for me too-o-o ♪♪
[instrumental music]
(Emily) ' You spoiled everything! It's a nightmare!'
'My friends and family are out. How can I face them?'
'How could you do this to me?'
Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily
we still get cake, right?
That-That's alright. No, no, you take your time, sweetie.
I'll be right out here.
She's just fixing her makeup.
'I hate you!'
And I love you!
Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh, Ross?
That's true. Thanks, Dad.
People should be dancing, huh?
Hey, this is a party. Come on!
Joey, dance!
[instrumental music]
[cellphone rings]
Yes, Waltham Interiors.
Hello, this is Ross Geller's personal physician
Dr. Filangie.
- Who? - 'Yeah.'
I discovered that Ross forgot
to take his brain medicine.
Um, with-without it, uh, in the brain of Ross
uh, women's names are interchangeable.
Th-through no fault of his own.
Oh, my God! Phoebe.
No, not Phoebe, Dr. Filangie.
Oh, no! You have it too!
Hello?
- Hey. - Hey.
Ah, wow, I hope you don't take this the wrong way
but I know we had plans to meet up tonight and..
Ah, I'm just kinda worried about
what it might do to our friendship.
I know.
Ugh, how could we have let this happen.
- Seven times! - Uff!
You know, look. We were away.
In a foreign, romantic country.
Right.
I blame London.
Bad London!
So, look, um, while we're still in London
I mean we can keep doing it, right?
Well, I don't see that we have a choice.
But when we're back home, we don't do it.
No, only here.
You know, I-I saw a wine cellar downstairs.
I'll meet you there in two minutes.
Okay.
Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something.
Now?
Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on
I can't just pretend that didn't happen, can I?
Ugh, I-I don't know.
Monica, what should I do?
Just, uh, do the right thing.
What?
T-Tow the line! Thread the needle, think outside the box!
Monica, wait, listen, I-I think I'm just gonna talk to Ross
about what he thinks it meant.
What? Wait! Rachel, no.
He's married.
Married!
If you don't realize that, I can't help you.
Okay. You're right.
You're right. You can't help me.
Jack, is it all our fault?
- Were we bad parents? - Yes.
Oh, yeah? Well, who serves steak when there's no place to sit?
I mean, how are you supposed to eat this?
Hey, what's up?
Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar.
- Forget it. That's off. - Why?
The next tour of the wine cellar
will commence in two min-in-inutes.
Joey, what are you doing?
You promised Phoebe, you wouldn't eat meat
until she has the babies.
Well, I-I figured we're in another country
so it doesn't count.
- That's true. - The man's got a point.
- Oh, hi. - Hi.
I'm sorry, things aren't working out so well.
Oh, no. It could be better.
It's gonna be okay, right?
Oh, yeah, of course.
I mean, she gonna get over this, you know.
I mean, so you said my name.
You know, you just said it 'cause you saw me there.
If you'd seen a circus freak, you would've said
I take thee, circus freak.
You know, it didn't mean anything. It's just a mistake.
It didn't mean anything.
- Right? - No, no!
Of course it didn't mean anything.
I mean, wha.. I can understand why Emily would think
it meant something, you know, because, because it was you.
But it-it absolutely didn't. It didn't! It didn't!
Ross, hey, the band's ready outside
for your first dance with Emily, so..
Oh! Oh, the band's ready.
Well, I, we got to do what the band says.
I don't care about the stupid band!
You spit on me, man.
I-I'm sorry.
Emily is taking kind of a long time, huh?
You know, when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding
is because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
- Oh, right, - Get the hell out of there.
[laughing]
Emily?
I'm coming in!
Oh, look at that. Same thing.
[instrumental music]
Listen, in the middle of everything
if I scream the word yippee, just ignore me.
- Oh, my God! Rachel. - Oh, hello, Rachel.
Ross said my name.
Okay? My name!
'Ross said my name up there.'
That obviously means that he still loves me.
Okay, don't believe me. I know I'm right.
Alright, do you guys wanna go downstairs and get a drink?
Yes, we do.
But we have to change first.
Yes, I wanna change.
And w-why don't you go down and get us a table.
Yeah, we'll be down in like five minutes.
Fifteen minutes.
Okay.
[telephone ringing]
Hello? Oh, Pheebs. It's Phoebe!
- Oh, hey, hey. - Oh, great.
Hi.. So what happened?
Well, Ross said my name.
Yeah, I know, but I don't think that means anything.
Okay. Pheebs, you know what, let's look at this objectively.
Alright, ninth grade, right?
The obsession starts.
Alright, summer after ninth grade
he sees me in a two-piece for the first time.
His obsession begins to grow, right? So, then..
Hey, listen, why don't we go change in my room?
My clothes are.. Oh.
[instrumental music]
Wow, you look--
- No time for that. - Okay.
Hey, dude, let me in! I got a girl out here.
Oh, I've got a girl in here!
No, you don't. I just saw you go in there with Monica.
Oh, well, we're hanging out in here.
Which one of us is gonna be having sex in there? Me or you?
Well, I suppose I would have to say you.
Look, what if we're watching a movie in here?
Yeah, which we are.
A-And we've paid for it.
It's "My Giant."
"My Giant?"
I love that movie!
[instrumental music]
You really think this is okay?
Well, Ross and Emily aren't gonna use it.
- Oh, it's so beautiful. - Yeah.
Oh-h, you know.. I don't-don't feel right about this.
Oh, Mo-Mon-Monica.
This is the honeymoon suite.
The room expects sex.
The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex.
All the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Emily? - Nope, not under here.
- You didn't find her? - No, I've looked everywhere.
Well, you couldn't have looked everywhere
or else you would've found her.
Yeah. I think you should keep looking.
Yeah, for about, uh, 30 minutes?
Or forty-five?
Wow, in 45 minutes, you could find her twice.
No, for all I know, she's trying to find me
but couldn't because I kept moving around.
No, from now on, I'm staying in one place.
Right here.
- Well, it's getting late. - We're gonna go.
Actually..
Do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Ugh, you know, um, we gotta get up early
and catch that plane to New York.
Yeah, it's a very large plane.
That's cool.
But we'll stay here with you.
Thanks, guys.
I really appreciate this, you know
but you don't need to rub my butt.
[instrumental music]
We have to leave for New York in an hour.
I know. I've been looking at those doors.
They look pretty soundproof, don't you think?
We can't do that. That's insane.
I mean, A, he could wake up. And B, you know..
Let's go for it.
[knock on door]
Em-Emily? Em-Emily..
- Emily! - Nope.
You can forget about Emily. She's not with us.
We've come for her things.
Wait, w-w-where is she?
She's in hiding. She's utterly humiliated.
She doesn't want to see you ever again.
We're very sad that it didn't work out
between you and Emily, monkey.
But I think you're absolutely delicious!
Excuse me, I'm standing right here.
Oh, yes.
There you are.
Hey. Hey, you guys go hurry up. Get some of this.
There's a whole cart outside.
- Goodbye, Geller. - Now, hold on. Hold on.
Look, look, your daughter and I
are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon.
Now-now you, you tell her that I'm gonna be at that airport
and I hope that she'll be there too.
Oh, yeah I said Rachel's name, but it didn't mean anything.
Sh-she's just a friend. That's all.
'Now, look, just tell Emily that I love her and that'
'I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.'
Please, promise me that you'll tell her that.
Alright, I'll tell her.
Come on, bugger face.
Call me.
You spend half your life in the bathroom
why do you ever go out the bloody window?
[instrumental music]
You know, maybe it's best we never got to do it again.
Yeah, it kinda makes that, that one night special.
You know, technically, we still are over international waters.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Maybe I'll see you there in a bit?
Okay.
Hey, can I ask you something?
Uh, no.
Felicity and I, we were watching "My Giant," and I was thinkin'
I'm never gonna be as good an actor as that Giant.
Do you think I'm just wasting my life with this acting thing?
No.
I mean, the Giant's like five years younger than me, you know.
You think I'll ever get there?
Yes.
- Thanks, man. - Okay, man.
But what about how much taller he is than me?
I mean, there's no way I can make myself
taller now, you know.
And who knows what science will come up with in the future
but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular-size man?
Hey, Monica. Why, you've been in the bathroom for a half-hour.
I know!
Had the beef tips, huh?
[instrumental music]
[chuckles]
- 'Hey!' - Pheebs.
- Hi! - Hey!
[laughs]
You ate meat!
You had sex!
- No, we didn't. - I know you didn't.
I was talking about Monica.
Phoebe, I did not have sex.
Oh, this pregnancy is throwing me all off.
Alright, I'm gonna go say hi to the chick and the duck.
Oh, me too.
Why would you need to say hi to 'em?
You've been feeding them for four days.
Oh, right. Maybe I'll just go home.
Well, we certainly are alone.
Yes, good thing we have that not New York rule.
Oh, right.
Um, listen, since we're-we're on that subject
um, I just wanted to tell you that, um..
Well, I.. I was going through a hard time in London
what with my brother getting married
and that guy thinking I was Ross' mother.
Right.
Well, anyway, I just..
That night meant a lot to me
and, guess I'm trying to say thanks.
Oh.
You know, that night meant a lot to me too.
And it wasn't 'cause I was in a bad place or anything.
It just meant a lot to me 'cause you're really hot.
Is that okay?
That's okay.
And I'm cute too?
- And you're cute too. - Thank you.
- Alright, I gotta go unpack. - Okay.
Bye.
I'm still on London time. Does that count?
- Oh, that counts. - Oh, good.
[instrumental music]
- Rach. Rach. - Hi.
What are you, what are you doing here?
Well, I-I've been on standby for a flight home for hours.
- Oh. - Ah-h.
So no sign of Emily, huh?
Not yet.
So, um..
What time were you supposed to leave?
(woman on PA) 'This is the last call for flight 10-66 to Athens.'
'The last call.'
- Pretty soon, I guess. - Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I just, I don't understand.
I mean, how-how could she do this?
And what, am I.. Am I like a complete idiot
for thinking she'd actually show up?
No, you're not an idiot, Ross.
You're a guy very much in love.
Same difference.
(woman on PA) 'All ticketed passengers for Flight 10-66'
'to Athens should now be onboard.'
I get it!
Well, that's that.
No, you know what?
I think you should go.
- What? - Yeah, you do.
I think you should go, by yourself. Get some distance.
Clear your head. I think it would be really good.
- No, I-I-I don't know. - Oh, come on, Ross.
I think it would be really good for you.
I.. I could. I-I could do that.
Yeah.
I can't.. I can't even believe her. I mean..
You know what? I-I am.. I am gonna go.
- Good. - I know, why not?
- Right? - Right.
- Thanks. - Okay.
- I'll see you back at home. - Alright.
If I ever get a flight out of here.
Hey, wai.. Nah.
What? Wait. What?
Why don't you come?
I mean, I.. I have two tickets. Why not?
Oh, I.. I-I don't know, Ross. Really?
Yeah. Yeah, it'd be great. I mean, you can..
You can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage.
- You see, how I make jokes? - Ah-huh.
No, really, I.. I mean..
God, I could use a friend.
Oh, wow, okay. Uh, maybe.
Um..
Yes, I can do that.
- Okay, cool. - Alright, cool.
- There. - Okay, we're going to Greece.
- Yeah, okay. - Ah, ah, I forgot my jacket.
- Okay, but wait.. - Well, you tell them to wait.
- Wait! Wait! - Okay.
Emily.
Oh, no, no, no.
'Oh, no.'
No! No-o!
Emily!
[instrumental music]
Ah, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot
and he will have a white wine spritzer.
Ooh.
Hey, look at that, the airport's moving.
Hey, are we moving?
Are we moving? Why are we moving?
Hey, does the, um..
Yeah, does the captain know that we're moving?
Oh, my God!
Oh, my gosh.
[theme music]