Everybody, shh, shh, uh, Central Perk..
...is proud to present the music..
...of Miss Phoebe Buffay!
[crowd cheering]
Hi, um, I want to start with a song that's about that moment
when you suddenly realize what life is really all about.
'Okay. Here we go.'
[guitar strumming]
Okay. Thank you very much.
What the..
Oh, great. This is just..
[theme music]
♪ So no one told you ♪
♪ Life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke you're broke ♪
♪ Your love life's DOA ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day ♪
♪ Your week your month or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
♪ When the rain starts to fall ♪
♪ I'll be there for you ♪
♪ Like I've been there before ♪
♪ I'll be there for you ♪
♪ 'Cause you're there for me ♪
♪ Too ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Wow, this is so cool, you guys.
The entire city is blacked out.
Mom says, it's all of Manhattan
parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea
when it's coming back on.
Wow, you guys, this is big.
Pants and a sweater? Why, mom?
Who am I gonna meet in a blackout..
Power company guys? Eligible looters?
Can we talk about this later? Okay.
Can I borrow the phone?
I wanna call my apartment and check on my grandma.
Wait. What's my number?
Well, I never call me.
[thinking] Oh, my God. It's her.
It's that Victoria's Secret model..
...something, something Goodacre.
Hi, mom. It's Jill.
She's right. It's Jill. Jill Goodacre.
(Chandler) Oh, my God.
I am trapped in an ATM vestibule
with Jill Goodacre.
Is it a vestibule?
Maybe it's an atrium.
Oh, yeah. That is the part to focus on, you idiot.
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just stuck
at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.
Jill says, vestibule.
I'm going with vestibule.
I'm fine. No, I'm not alone.
I don't know. Some guy.
Oh! Some guy.
I am, some guy.
Hey, Jill, I saw you with some guy last night.
Yes. He was some guy.
Hey, everyone.
And officiating at tonight's blackout
is Rabbi Tribbiani.
Well, Chandler's old roommate was Jewish
and these are the only candles we have..
so...Happy Hanukkah, everyone.
Ew, look.
Ugly naked guy lit a bunch of candles.
(together) Ooh!
Ooh.
Oh, that had to hurt!
Alright, alright, alright.
It's been fourteen and a half minutes
and you still have not said one word.
Oh, God! Do something.
Just make contact. Smile.
There you go.
You're definitely scaring her.
Uh, would you like to call somebody?
Yeah. About 300 guys I went to high school with.
Yeah, thanks.
[telephone ringing]
- Hello. - Hey, it's me.
It's Chandler! Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
[muffled] I'm stuck in an ATM vestibule
with Jill Goodacre.
What?
[muffled] I'm stuck..
...in an ATM vestibule
with Jill Goodacre.
I have no idea what you just said.
Put Joey on the phone!
What's up, man?
[muffled] I'm stuck..
...in an ATM vestibule
with Jill Goodacre.
Oh, my God!
He's trapped in an ATM vestibule
with Jill Goodacre!
Chandler, listen, listen!
[mumbling]
Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.
[instrumental music]
(Rachel) 'Okay, come on, somebody, somebody.'
(Monica) 'Alright, I'll go, I'll go.'
Okay, um, senior year of college on a pool table.
- Ooh-hoo-hoo! - Pool table!
That's my sister.
Okay, okay.
My weirdest place would have to be..
...the women's room on the second floor
of the New York City public library.
Oh, my God.
What were you doing in a library?
Hey, Pheebs, what about you?
Oh, um, Milwaukee.
Uh, Ross?
[clears throat] Disneyland, 1989..
"It's a small world after all."
No way.
Yeah, the, uh, the ride broke down
so Carol and I went behind a couple of those
mechanical Dutch children.
Then they fixed the ride
and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Ooh, Rachel?
Oh, come on, I already went.
- 'No.' - You did not go!
- Yes, I did. - 'Come on tell us!'
- Come on. - Come on.
Alright, uh..
...the weirdest place would have to be..
...oh... the foot of the bed.
- Step back. - We have a winner!
[theme music]
I've just never had a relationship
with that kinda passion, you know, where-where you have to
have somebody right there in the middle of a theme park.
Well, it was the only thing to do there
that didn't have a line.
Alright, well, see, I mean, Barry wouldn't even kiss me
on a miniature-golf course.
- Come on. - No.
He said we were holding up the people behind us.
And you didn't marry him, because?
I mean, do you think..
...there are people that go through life
never having that kind of?
- Probably. - Really?
Well, you know, I'll tell you something.
Passion is way overrated.
- Yeah, right. - It is.
Uh, eventually, it kind of burns out.
But hopefully, what you're left with is trust
and security and, uh..
...well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism.
So, you know, for all those people who miss out
on that, uh, passion thing..
...there's all that other good stuff.
[sighs] Okay.
But, um, but I don't think that's gonna be you.
- You don't? - Mm.
See, I see, uh..
...big passion in your future.
- Really? - Hmm.
- You do? - I do.
Oh, Ross, you're so great.
It's never gonna happen.
- What? - You and Rachel.
[chuckles]
[mumbling]
Why not?
Because you waited too long to make your move
and now you're in the friend zone.
No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.
No, Ross. You're mayor of the zone!
Look, I'm taking my time, alright?
I'm-I'm-I'm laying the groundwork.
Yeah, I mean, every day I get
just a little bit closer to, uh--
Priesthood!
Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea, what you're thinking.
And if you don't ask her out soon..
...you're gonna end up stuck in the zone forever.
I will, I will. I'm just..
See, I'm waiting for the, uh, the right moment.
[sighs]
What?
- What, now? - Yeah.
What's messing you up? The wine?
The candles? The moonlight? Huh?
You just gotta go up to her and you gotta say
- Look, Rachel, I think-- - Shh-shh.
- What are we shushing?
We're shushing...because we're trying to-to hear something.
- What? What? - Uh, don't you hear that?
Ah-h-h.
- See? - Huh.
- Would you like some gum? - Oh. Is it sugarless?
- Uh...sorry, it's not. - Oh, then, no, thanks.
[thinking] What the hell was that?
Mental note, if Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it.
If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
♪ New York City has no power ♪
♪ And the milk is getting sour ♪
♪ But to me it is not scary ♪
♪ 'Cause I stay away from dairy ♪
♪ La la la la ♪♪
- Okay. Here goes. - You're gonna do it?
- I'm gonna do it. - You want me to help?
You come out there, you're a dead man.
Ross, Ross.
Good luck, man.
Thanks.
- Okay. - Okay.
- 'Hey, where you going?' - Outside.
No-no, you-you can't go out there.
- Why not? - Because of, uh, the reason.
- And that would be? - I, uh, I can't tell you.
Joey, what's going on?
Okay, listen, you gotta promise
you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
About what?
He's planning your birthday party.
- Oh, my God. I love him. - You better act surprised.
- About what? - My surprise party.
- What surprise party? - Oh, stop it.
Joey already told me.
Well, he didn't tell me.
Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross' thing.
This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything.
No, you are not. We tell you stuff.
Uh-huh, I was the last one to know
when Chandler got bit by the peacock at the zoo.
I was the last to know, when you had a crush
on Joey when he was moving in.
What?
Oh. Well, it looks like I was second to last.
Hmm. It's so nice.
Hmm.
Hey, I have a question.
Well, uh, actually, it's not so much a question..
...it's more of a-a general wondering..
...ment.
- Okay. - Okay.
Uh, here goes.
Um, well, for a while now, I've been wanting...to, um..
- Oh. - Yes, yes, that's..
- Look at that little kitty. - That's right.
What?
[screaming]
♪ I'm on the top of the world ♪
♪ Looking down on creation ♪
♪ And the only explanation I can find ♪
♪ Is the love that I found ♪
♪ Ever since you've been around.. ♪♪
Alright, this is just Bactine. It won't hurt.
Ow! Ow!
Sorry, that was wax.
Oh...poor little Tootie is scared to death.
We should find his owner.
Why don't we just put the poor little Tootie
out in the hall?
During a blackout? She'll get trampled.
Yeah.
You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection.
Gum would be perfection?
Could've said, Gum would be nice.
Could've said, I'll have a stick.
But, no, no, no.
For me, gum is perfection.
I loathe myself.
Oh, no, the Mellons.
They hate all living things, right?
Oh.
[knock on door]
Hi. We just found this cat.
And we're looking for the owner.
Um, yeah, it's, uh... It's mine.
He seems to hate you. Are you sure?
Yeah. It's my cat. Give me my cat.
No, wait a minute. What's his name?
Um, Bob...Buttons.
- Bob Buttons? - Uh-huh. Bob Buttons.
Here, Bob Buttons.
Oh!
You are a very bad man!
You owe me a cat.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty.
Where did you go, little kitty, kitty, kitty?
Kitty, kitty, kitty. Come here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty...kitty.
- Hi. - Buonasera.
Oh, wow.
[instrumental music]
Come on, lucky sixes.
Everybody..
...this is Paolo.
Paolo, I want you to meet my friends.
- This is Monica. - Hi.
And Joey.
Hi.
- And Ross. - Hi.
[speaking Italian]
[laughing]
He doesn't speak much English.
- Monopoly. - Oh!
Look at that.
So, uh..
...where did, uh, Paolo come from?
Oh, Italy, I think. Heh.
No, I mean tonight, in the building?
Suddenly into our lives?
Well, the-the cat, the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat.
Isn't that funny?
That-that is funny. And Rachel keeps touching him.
I...I looked all over the building
and I couldn't find the kitty anywhere.
Oh, I found him. It was Paolo's cat.
Ah! Well, there you go. Last to know again.
And I'm guessing, since nobody told me, this is Paolo?
Oh, Paolo..
...this is Phoebe.
[speaking Italian]
You betcha!
[instrumental music]
Alright. Okay. What next?
Blow a bubble. A bubble's good.
It's got a, uh, boyish charm. It's impish.
Here we go.
Nice going, imp. Okay.
Okay, it-it's okay, all I need to do is..
...reach over and put it back in my mouth.
Good save, we're back on track and I'm..
...chewing someone else's gum.
This is not my gum.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
And now you're choking.
Are you alright?
Oh, my God. You're choking!
[grunting]
- Better? - Yes.
Thank you, that was..
...that was..
Perfection?
[speaking Italian]
[mumbling]
[laughing]
Hey, what'd he say that was so funny?
I have absolutely no idea.
That's-that's classic.
Oh, my God, you guys. What am I doing?
This is so un-me.
If you want, I'll do it.
I know. I just wanna bite his bottom lip.
But I won't.
God, the first time he smiled at me..
...those three seconds were more exciting
than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.
Now, did you rent mopeds?
Because I've heard..
Oh, it's not about that right now. Okay.
God, you know, I know it's totally superficial
and we have nothing in common..
...and we don't even speak the same language..
...but, God.
Paolo, hi.
- Ross? - Listen, uh.
Listen, um...something you should, uh, should know.
Uh...Rachel and I are..
...we're kind of a... kind of a thing.
- Thing? - Thing. Yes, thing.
- You have the sex? - No.
No, no, um, technically the-the sex is not being had.
But that's..
...see, but that's not the point, see, um..
...the point is that uh.. well, Rachel and I should be
uh...well, Rachel and I should be together.
You know, and if you get in the, um..
- In bed? - No.
No, not where I was going.
Uh, if you get in the way
way of us becoming a thing
then, uh, I would be, well, very sad. Mmm.
Oh!
So, do you, um..
- Ceviche? - Si, si.
Si? Si?
So you, uh, you do know a little English?
Po. Little.
Do, uh, um, do you know the word crapweasel?
No? That's funny... You are a huge crapweasel.
Si, si.
Grazie.
Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this.
- Now watch. It's easy. - Okay.
- Ready? - Mm-hmm.
Okay? Now try it.
No, you gotta whip it.
(Phoebe) Oh, look, look, look, look.
The last candle's about to burn out.
Ten, nine, eight, seven..
...minus 46, minus 47, minus 48..
[blowing]
- 'Thank you.' - 'Thanks.'
(Ross) 'It kinda spooky without any lights.'
[Paolo laughing]
[all laughing]
(Ross) 'Okay, guys, I have the definitive one.'
'Bwah-hah-hah!'
[groans]
Uh, Ross..
...this probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but..
...you have to throw a party for Monica.
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
- This has been fun. - Yes. Yes.
Thanks for uh...letting me use your phone
and...for saving my life.
Well, goodbye, Chandler.
I had a great blackout.
See you.
Hi, um, I'm account number 7-1-4-3-4-5-7.
And uh...I don't know if you got any of that..
...but I would really
like a copy of the tape.
[instrumental music]