Alright, alright, alright. Let's play one more time, okay?
And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
Okay, can't believe I'm risking this again but you're on.
Alright, Joe, you remember the rules.
Heads I win, tails you lose.
Just flip.
- Uh! Tails! - Dammit!
- Hey! - Hey.
So we thought we'd throw you a little
going-away party around 7:00.
Oh, that sounds good.
Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow.
- Shouldn't you be packing? - It's all done.
Oh, yeah, right and after I took
a shower this morning I just
threw my towel on the floor.
Oh, God, it hurts to even joke about it.
I know, ah, it's just, honey, seriously, I did it all.
The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom.
This is Emma's Paris stuff.
These are the boxes that I'm having shipped
and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane.
Okay, so you've done good work.
- Yeah. - What about your carry-ons?
Oh, well, everything that I need is in here
and my travel documents are on the counter
organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Oh, my God, I've nothing left to teach you.
- Oh. - Oh.
Where's your passport?
It should be right next to my plane ticket.
- Well, it-it's not. - 'What?'
Well, maybe I put it in here? Oh. Huh! Oh, it's not in there.
Oh, no, I must have packed it in one of these boxes.
- Here, let me help you. - Shoot.
(Rachel) 'Oh...can't believe I did this.'
At one point does it stop being funny
that I took her passport?
[theme music]
♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke you're broke ♪
♪ Your love life's DOA ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day your week your month ♪
♪ Or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
♪ When the rain starts to pour ♪
♪ I'll be there for you ♪
♪ Like I've been there before ♪
♪ I'll be there for you ♪
♪ 'Cause you're there for me too-o-o ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Oh, wow, can you believe you're only three weeks away?
I know. Huh.
You don't mind me touching your belly, do you?
No, I don't mind you touching my belly
but right now your hand's kind of
blocking the part where the baby's gonna come out.
Huh.
- Hey. - 'Hey, hi.'
Hi, Erica, welcome back to town.
Wow, look how big you've gotten.
That's because I'm pregnant.
Right, no, I-I understand. Uh!
Oh, okay. I'm just always afraid
that people think I'm just fat with big breasts, uh.
Uh, no, no. I knew.
Great, well, stop staring at them.
What? She brought them up.
I didn't realize you were coming back so soon.
Yeah, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel.
Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors
and get settled into the hotel.
Hotel? Why isn't she staying with you guys?
Well, because we're moving in a couple of days.
- And it just didn't make sense. - Plus, hotels are fun.
My room has this little fridge full of free snacks, uh!
Erica, those things aren't free, in fact, they have
one of the highest markups of any consumer product.
Ross, she's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Be right back.
Oh, man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
I know, I know.
Hey, you know you could take it if you want.
The lease is still in Nana's name.
No, no, this will always be your place.
It would be too sad.
Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
- Yeah, it takes two incomes. - Right.
Hey, is, uh, Chandler here? We talked about catchin' a movie.
Oh, no, he doesn't have time for that.
But if you want, you can go help
him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Hm, packing? Sexy cheerleader comedy?
Hm, helpful brother? Creepy loner at teen movie?
[gibberish]
- What are you guys doing? - Try it, I can't feel a thing.
Are-are you kidding?
This is packing?
- We're taking a break. - From?
Jumping on the bed.
Alright, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours
and there's a lot to do.
Now, Ross, you've got Geller blood.
You're in charge of these yahoos.
- You got it. - Alright.
Alright, she's right, we gotta get serious.
Let's put Styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him.
No, no, no, guys, she's right. We should get to work.
I'll take stuff out of the closet.
Joey, you pack them, and Ross, you repack whatever Joey packs.
You guys hear a ringing?
- What the hell is this? - Hey, handcuffs.
And fur-lined, nice.
I didn't know you guys had it in ya.
Chandler, you don't have a sister, so you can't understand
how much this bums me out.
I didn't know Monica had these.
Oh, maybe she used them with another boyfriend.
Maybe Richard. Yeah.
Why would she use them with Richard and not me?
I can be kinky.
I once did a naked dance for her with scarves.
Bumming hard, guys. Bumming hard.
[instrumental music]
- Hey. - Hey. Where's Mike?
(Phoebe) 'Oh, he has a gig.'
It's kind of like being married
to a rock star, you know, huhu.
"My, my husband has a gig."
Uh...huh.
Yeah? Where-where is it?
Oh, he's playing organ
for, um, a children's roller-skating party.
Rock on.
Wow! This is quite a spread.
- Yeah. - What is all this stuff?
Well, I thought this would be
a great opportunity to use up all the food
that I don't want to move to the new house with me.
So enjoy.
Smoked oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust.
Kidney beans in their own juices
and for dessert a questionable orange.
- Hey. - 'Hey, where's Rach?'
Oh, she's, uh, she's putting Emma down.
She'll be over in a second, now, it just hit her that she's
leaving and she's kind of emotional
so no one say anything to set her off, okay?
(Phoebe) 'Yeah.'
- Hey, Rach. - There she is.
[sighs]
- Hi, you guys. - What did I just say?
Oh, no, no, no. It's okay, it's okay.
- I'm gonna be fine. - 'Come here.'
- I'll make you a drink. - Okay.
Oh, man, I can't believe she's actually leaving.
How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
I know, she's been such a big part of my life.
I mean, it feels like when Melrose Place got canceled.
I mean.. Ah, forget it.
I miss Melrose Place.
Well, I had a chance to stop her, too.
Yeah. Who loses 57 coin tosses in a row?
You know? Heads she wins, tails I lose.
- Wait a minute. - Yes, Joe?
I forgot to pick up my dry cleanin'.
So, you doing okay?
- Well, I've been better. - Mm-hm.
You guys are gonna come and visit me, right?
Yes, you know, in six months the statute of limitations runs out
and I can travel internationally again.
- I'm gonna miss you so much. - I know.
Uh, you know what, um, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted
to say to each of you, and I was gonna save it
until the end of the night, but come here.
Come.
Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
Well, if I had to guess, I'd say..
...Rachel's puttin' on the bubble wrap
and Phoebe's doin' the punchin'.
Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
- Okay, well, before you do.. - Mm-hm.
I know we weren't supposed to get you going-away presents
but I do have something for you.
Oh! Oh! Oh...what is it?
Well, it's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it.
Mm, so that i-if they perfect the cloning process
while you're over there, you can use the DNA
to create your own Pheebs.
Uh, huh, uh, I'm gonna throw this away.
But thank you so much for the gesture.
Chandler? Um, I was just in our bedroom
and I found these on my pillow.
Oh, yes, I decided to leave those out for you
in case Richard stops by and you want to engage
in a little light bondage and mustache play.
What are you talking about? These aren't mine.
Oh, yeah, right.
Good luck getting another scarf dance from me.
That would be a terrible punishment.
But I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
Really? Then what are they doing in our guest room?
Rachel used to live in that room.
Rachel. With handcuffs.
Interesting.
Joey's bare ass.
Well played.
[sniffs]
- I love you, Phoebe. - I love you, too.
[both sniff]
[sniffs] Please.
Please don't, uhh, don't turn into
you know, a French bitch.
[sniffs] Oh, my God.
Alright, well, if I'm gonna
do this I'd better keep goin'.
- Great. - Okay.
- Monica. - Yeah?
Will you come here with me for a minute?
Sure.
Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
- No. - Oh, you're so screwed.
Hey, uh, what was that all about?
She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Are you kidding? Oh, my God.
Yeah, I know. It's gonna be even worse for you. God.
Well, just get ready to do some serious crying.
Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this.
Uh! Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year.
And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
- Oh, Mon. - Huh.
Okay, I better, huh, just say
what it is I'm gonna say.
None of the amazing things
that've happened to me in the last ten years
would have happened if it wasn't for you.
No one has been... more like a sister to me.
[sighs] I know what you mean.
You're like a sister to me, too.
Hm.
[sniffs]
[sobbing] I don't know what I'm gonna do without you.
[sobbing]
You're the best friend I ever had.
I'm gonna miss not seeing you every day.
What?
I, huh, said I..
Gonna miss not seeing you every day.
That is so sweet.
[instrumental music]
Oh, no, she took down Monica.
And I'm the crier in the family.
(Ross) 'Oh, God, I could be next.'
Maybe she won't talk to me if it looks like
we're deep in conversation.
Uh, oh, so that that thing you said about the thing
it really made me think about that other thing.
- Uh, Rach? - Yeah?
It's okay. Chandler's talking to her.
Really made you think about that thing, huh?
Uh, Rach, I think I have something that belongs to you.
Oh, I'm sure going to miss pretending
to laugh at your weird jokes that I don't get.
[chuckles]
No, no, they're really yours.
We found them in your old room.
Well, these aren't mine.
Maybe Monica used to use them with--
Don't say Richard.
Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours
then whose are they?
Oh, I think you're forgetting the kinkiest
former resident of that room.
- Pheebs! - Yeah?
- I think these are yours. - These are not mine.
Look at how flimsy they are. Come on.
My God, you try to hang a guy from a water pipe with these
they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Sure.
You don't really handcuff guys to water pipes, do ya?
Where do you think Mike really is?
- Oh, honey. - Let me just say something.
Because once we get into this I'm going to get all
uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke.
I just want to say that I, I love you..
...and I'm gonna miss you.
And I'm so sad that you're leaving.
Oh, you know what?
Let's not say anything else.
I love you.
[chuckles]
Mm, not so tight.
[blows raspberry]
Oh! Chan-Chandler.
I'm sorry, just give me one more chance.
- Okay. - Okay.
Uh! Oh.
[blows raspberry]
- Oh! - I'm sorry.
Just go. Just go. I can't. I can't.
[instrumental music]
So I guess you're next. You ready?
- I don't think so. - Oh, you're definitely not.
I haven't cried like that in years.
You cried yesterday at the 6 o'clock news.
That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic.
God, I can't believe she saved me for last.
Why are they taking so long?
(Phoebe) I don't know, but, God, Joey seems
to be handling it surprisingly well.
- No! - No, no, wait!
Okay, here we go.
Ohh!
- Well.. - Yeah.
I think I'm going to take off.
Huh?
Oh, you guys, this was an amazing night.
Thank you so much.
I love you.
Goodnight.
[door opens]
[door shuts]
What?
- I don't get a goodbye? - Lucky bastard.
[instrumental music]
Unbelievable.
She says goodbye to everyone but me.
Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history
it could be, you know, implicit.
Well, it needs to be plicit!
Alright, let's think about this.
I mean, there's got to be an explanation.
Uh, did you do anything to make her mad?
No, I don't, I don't think so.
You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk.
- It was pretty intense. - Yeah, mine, too.
- Mine was a humdinger. - Okay!
I mean, don't I deserve anything?
I mean, a, a few tears, a, a cursory hug?
Not from you!
Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
What, and say what? "You owe me a goodbye?"
I mean, he's got more pride than that.
The hell I do!
- I don't get a goodbye? - What?
Everyone gets a goodbye but me?
What do I got to do to get a goodbye, huh?
Uh, be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you?
Have-have a baby with you? Oh, wait a minute!
Wait a minute! I did all those things!
Or-or maybe, maybe I'm just not giving you enough credit.
Uh, I mean, it is difficult to say goodbye to five people.
Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
[choking] It's physically impossible!
You know what, after all we've been through, I can't believe
this is how you want to leave things between us.
Have a, have a good time in Paris.
[instrumental music]
I hope Ross isn't too upset.
I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
Tell me about it.
Well, you can't say we don't know how to throw a party.
Alright, I think I'm going to head out. Uh!
Uh, huh, where do you think you're going?
I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing
there's something less fun for me to do here.
Well, we're moving in a couple of days
and we got a lot of packing to do.
It'd be great if you guys could pitch in.
Joey and I can, uh, finish up in the guest room.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Good idea.
Oh, no.
You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
You couldn't be cool.
(Monica) Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen.
Plates get put into plate protectors
and stacked ten to a box.
The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands
and then bubble-wrapped.
- Got it? - Yeah.
Good, now I need you to be careful and efficient.
And remember, if I am harsh with you
it is only because you're doing it wrong.
Hey, Mon, I think I figured out whose handcuffs they are.
You did? How?
Well, I was cleaning out the closet
and I found some pictures of them...being used.
Oh, my God. Let me see.
[gasps]
Who's that dirty old lady?
Monica's grandmother.
God, Nana liked it rough!
- Hi. - Hey!
Oh, here, have a seat. Have a seat.
- How was your night? - Oh, it was okay.
I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner.
We went to this place that had..
Ooh!
Oh, anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Uh! Erica, are-are you okay?
Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much.
I keep getting these stomach aches.
They come and go like every few minutes.
Oh, my God!
Relax, we'll just get her some antacids.
She doesn't have a stomach ache! She's in labor!
Oh, my God!
Yeah, you got to get to the hospital!
Okay, Chandler, get the coats!
Erica, let's go!
Phoebe and Joey, keep packing!
Oh, my God, we're gonna have a baby!
[groaning]
We're gonna have a baby!
Oh, my God, we're gonna have a baby.
Oh, God, I've go-gotta sit down! I gotta sit down. Oh!
[labored breathing]
Honey, it's gonna be okay.
You can do this! Just breathe.
Okay, okay.
Okay, I feel, I feel a little better.
Oh! Are you sure? Ah.
Oh, yes, I'm sure.
- Oh, honey, let's go. - Okay. Come on. Let's go.
Okay, bye, everyone!
- Bye-bye. We're having a baby! - Good luck.
- Chandler, wait, wait, wait! - What?
If you get a second find out where she got that cheeseburger.
[instrumental music]
You really think I didn't say goodbye
to you because I don't care?
That's what it seemed like.
I cannot believe that after ten years
you do not know one thing about me.
Fine, then why didn't you say something?
Because it is too damn hard, Ross.
I can't even begin to explain to you
how much I am gonna miss you!
When I think about not seeing you
every day, it makes me not want to go.
Okay?
So if you think that, that I didn't say goodbye to you
because you don't mean as much
to me as everybody else you're wrong.
It's because you mean more to me.
So there, alright? There's your goodbye! Oh!
- Rach. - What?
- You ca, you ca, you can't-- - What?
[exhales]
[instrumental music]
- A little more. - Okay.
- A little more. A little more. - Alright.
- A little more. - Okay.
Alright. Okay. Alright, let's do this.
- Alright, ready? - Yep.
Now give me your best shot.
Alright, here goes.
[groaning] Doesn't work.
Oh!
[theme music]